The Wedding That Never Was

The captured drug lord insisted on meeting the police officer who had once infiltrated his inner circle.

I stood before the iron bars in uniform, my face expressionless.

Inside the cell, Derek Tang, shackled hand and foot, stared at me for a few seconds.

"Without the makeup, you don't look like her at all."

I didn't blink. "I was never Lily. You know that."

A cold glint flashed in his eyes before softening slightly.

"When's the wedding?"

"Next week."

A long silence. Then, quietly: "Emma, you have no heart."

I gave a faint smile. "Wrong. I have a heart full of fire—loyal to my country, dedicated to taking down drug dealers like you."

As I turned to leave, Derek laughed. "Emma, believe me—this wedding of yours isn't happening..."

1.

A year ago, I submitted my third request to the bureau to get close to the notorious drug lord Derek Tang.

Director Wang covered a fallen colleague with a white sheet and patted my shoulder. "Lin, make sure you come back safe."

I stood straight and saluted. "I will complete the mission."

At the time, we had a crucial piece of intelligence: the elusive Derek Tang had dated a girl named Lily when he was eighteen. During a gang fight, Lily took a knife for him and died.

Now, Derek occasionally visited Lily's grandmother.

We obtained Lily's high school photos. She looked innocent.

My mission was to make my face resemble hers just enough to get close to Derek.

Even the coldest man leaves a trace for the love that burned him in his youth.

2.

I first approached Lily's grandmother, who lived in the suburbs, and rented an empty room in her courtyard.

I was warm, friendly, and always smiling. I'd bring cake home to share with her, telling her I was a recent graduate working in the nearby city.

She said I looked like her granddaughter. Within a month, she treated me like family.

But Derek never showed. I began to doubt he'd ever come. Then, in the third month, he finally appeared.

That day, I came home from work and pushed open the courtyard gate. A tall man stood inside, cigarette in hand, looking straight at me.

The man I'd been dreaming of.

I pretended to be confused, but my heart raced.

Lily's grandmother came out. "Emma's home too! Come eat with us."

He was a powerfully built man, only twenty-eight, but the pressure he exuded was immense.

Well, that's how you become a drug lord.

3.

I smiled and declined. "Grandma, you have a guest. You two eat. I still have leftover rice from last night."

"Oh, I made so much food! Come eat with us."

I knew she'd insist.

At the table, I served rice. Derek sat across from me, watching.

I handed him the first bowl.

He took it. "Thanks."

In the kitchen earlier, I'd deliberately asked Grandma who he was, making sure he could hear from the living room.

During the meal, no one spoke much. Grandma just pointed out which dishes were good.

I silently noted what Derek ate most—steamed pork belly.

After dinner, I rushed to wash the dishes, deliberately acting nervous around him.

4.

Derek watched TV in the living room for a while, then walked to the kitchen doorway to say goodbye to Grandma.

"I'm leaving. Take care of yourself."

Grandma set down her bowl. "Why not stay the night?"

I held my breath. Three months was too long to wait again.

"No need."

He left.

My mind raced. I needed to leave a stronger impression.

I pretended to accidentally cut my finger with a knife. Blood welled up.

Grandma noticed. "Oh, you cut yourself! That's deep. You need to bandage it."

"Grandma, I'll go to the pharmacy."

5.

I hurried out after him, looking around. A figure was walking away fast.

I started running. He heard the footsteps and instinctively reached for his waist. When he turned and saw me, he stopped.

I stopped too, catching my breath.

Before I could speak, he snapped, "What are you running for?"

Sudden movements like that made people like him nervous.

I held up my trembling finger. "I cut myself. It's bleeding a lot. I need to get to the clinic at the end of the alley."

My face was twisted in pain.

He looked at the wound, his tone softening. "Go ahead."

I nodded and went to the clinic, watching the alley entrance the whole time. He never passed by—he'd taken another route.

That night in bed, I shuddered remembering how fast he'd reached for his gun.

But more than that, I worried I'd failed. He wasn't interested.

6.

Luckily, a few days later, I noticed someone following me and taking photos.

Derek's men. They were checking if I'd come to Grandma with an agenda.

Our cover was solid. I really did work at a small company, clocking in and out every day.

After being followed, I called the bureau to report.

To seem innocent, I bought food and fed stray cats in corners. I'd browse for hours before buying a single dress. I'd toss a coin or two to beggars.

Just an ordinary single girl's routine.

After three days, the tail pulled back.

I sensed Derek would visit Grandma again soon. The pull of first love would slowly awaken in him.

7.

It took longer than I expected—two months—but he finally came.

At least he came.

Grandma made dinner as usual and called me over.

After dinner, she took out the trash while I washed dishes.

I was fully prepared this time.

My long black hair loose, white T-shirt, jeans—I looked like a fresh, innocent college student washing dishes quietly.

Anyone would find that silhouette appealing.

Sure enough, halfway through, he came into the kitchen, turned on the stove, and lit a cigarette.

"Got a boyfriend?"

I turned to him, hesitated. "Yeah... I do."

Anyone could tell I was lying.

He said nothing.

I set down the dishes, dried my hands, walked over, and turned off the stove.

"Don't waste gas."

The move was perfect—I didn't touch him, but stood close enough that it felt like he was holding me from behind.

Then I quickly stepped back. He still didn't move. My heart sank.

But then he took a deep drag and glanced at me sideways. "Lying isn't fun."

After a few seconds, I laid out my terms. "I don't like men who smoke."

Statistics show men don't value women who are too easy to get.

8.

That night, he surprisingly agreed to stay over. I knew victory was close.

There were only two bedrooms. I said I'd sleep with Grandma in her room and he could have mine. He refused, saying he'd take the couch.

But I insisted on sleeping with Grandma. I knew the walls were thin.

After we got into bed, I deliberately chatted with Grandma about my college life.

"Emma, I bet lots of boys chased you in college."

"No, Grandma. There were plenty of prettier girls."

In the middle of the night, when Grandma was asleep, I crept out of bed to use the bathroom.

I pushed open the door. The living room was pitch black, save for a glowing ember and the heavy smell of smoke.

I turned on the light, rubbed my eyes, and pretended to be surprised.

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"Is the couch uncomfortable?"

Under the light, I was wearing cotton shorts, my legs pale and straight.

He looked at me, his eyes dark.

"What are you up to?"

"Going to the bathroom."

I went in. When I came out, the light was off again. He'd turned it off.

9.

Fear prickled my skin. I instinctively stepped back into the lit bathroom. The next second, he pushed in after me and pressed a finger to my lips.

"Don't scream. I'll let you go."

I nodded frantically.

He slowly released me.

"What do you want?"

He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, then my nose. There was a faint hint of tobacco.

I trembled, pushing at him. He didn't budge.

When I stopped resisting, he pulled back, twirling a strand of my hair with a soft laugh. "Emma, you didn't fight me." He mimicked Grandma's way of saying my name.

"I couldn't."

I pushed past him, grabbed a towel, soaked it, and wiped my face.

He sneered. "You think I'm dirty?"

"I'm just clearing my head."

He stood there, unmoving.

After I finished, I turned to him. "If you want to be my boyfriend, there are rules. Can you keep them?"

"Let's hear them."

"Pick me up and drop me off for work. Carry my shopping bags. Buy me good food and pretty things. Put up with my moods."

I looked at him, waiting.

He raised an eyebrow. "That's a lot of rules. But I'll give it a try?"

10.

That night, I lay in bed, exhilarated. The fish had finally taken the bait.

The next morning, he stayed for breakfast. Whenever our eyes met, he'd lean closer. If Grandma hadn't been there, he might have hugged me.

He really did start driving me to work and waiting across the street when I got off.

He held back from smoking around me as much as he could.

When I fed the stray cats, he'd lean against the wall and wait, saying I had a good heart.

When it snowed, I bought him a warm scarf and stood on tiptoe to wrap it around him, telling him how handsome he looked. He pulled me along to buy another one, saying we needed matching scarves.

When I studied for the civil service exam, he'd lift me onto his lap and whisper in my ear, "Look at our Emma, so ambitious."

But clearly, he didn't want me to pass. Every time I tried to study, he'd distract me, touching me, making it impossible to focus.

Of course. A drug lord couldn't have a girlfriend who worked for the government.

11.

He never told me what he did. I'd pretend to be curious and ask, but he was tight-lipped, always on guard.

I knew he was trafficking drugs anyway.

From his phone calls and movements, I learned more and more about his business, reporting everything to the bureau.

But it wasn't enough. My mission was to get close enough to find his domestic drug lab.

He wasn't an ordinary dealer. His father ran a massive operation in the Golden Triangle, and Derek was his youngest son.

According to our intel, Derek had a lab somewhere in the country.

If he wouldn't even talk about his business, how could I find his lab?

Sticking with him forever wasn't an option. So the bureau started using my intel to hit his operations, forcing him to flee to his lab.

Wave after wave of raids crippled his supply chain. We arrested many of his runners and seized large amounts of drug money.

At the same time, I became more and more exposed. He could suspect and kill me at any moment.

The bureau ordered me out.

"Lin, you need to pull out. He's taken heavy losses. He's bound to suspect you. You're in extreme danger."

"No. I'm going with him to the lab. We'll take it all down and have our celebration."

If I could find that lab, it would be a major victory—something the whole bureau could be proud of.

12.

I stayed by Derek's side.

After we got together, he asked me to move in with him.

I agreed. I guessed he didn't want to date me in front of Grandma—it would feel like betraying Lily.

The bureau was right. He was growing suspicious.

While I slept, he'd go through my phone.

He'd create sudden situations to test my reactions.

I passed every test.

But I didn't know his tests were far from over.

He changed his SIM cards constantly, buying them from street vendors so the police couldn't tap his calls.

One day, he went into the bathroom and left his phone outside.

Just before, he'd taken a call and asked a crucial question: "Is the village quiet?"

My heart pounded. The "village" was likely the lab.

I decided to check his phone and memorize the number so the bureau could trace it.

The shower was running. I nervously pulled the phone from his jacket and opened the contacts. Then the bathroom door opened.

I hadn't put the phone back.

He walked out, shirtless, a sinister smile on his face.

I knew I was done for. My mind raced.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have looked at your phone without asking."

"Emma, I didn't think you'd actually be a plant. Great acting. Want me to give you an award?"

"What are you talking about? What plant? I'm your girlfriend. You leave early and come back late. I was worried you were seeing someone else. Is it wrong to check?"

"Stop acting. You've blown it, Emma. You're a cop. You knew my background all along."

He was certain.

I started screaming hysterically, shoving the phone screen in his face and pounding his chest.

"Blown what? Who was that woman on the phone, Derek? Why did you delete the call log?"

It was a trap. There was no call log.

"Tell me, do you act like a boyfriend? You won't tell me anything, I can't ask anything. I'm a normal person. You're driving me crazy."

"Stop making a scene."

He pushed me onto the bed and grabbed my throat.

"There's no other woman. And don't try to fool me. I'm not stupid. The police have been hitting me too accurately. Someone close to me is leaking information."

"So you think it's me? You don't suspect anyone else? Just me? That's rich."

"And don't tell me there's no other woman. That photo in your wallet—she's the one you really love, isn't she? I'm just a replacement. You don't love me, Derek. If you don't love me, why did you come after me?"

He froze for a second, then laughed. "Emma, you know that's basically admitting you dressed up like her to get close to me."

Panic flickered in my eyes. He was too sharp, too fast.

"No. I'm not a cop. Please, stop this. I was just jealous. Why do you keep her photo and not mine? Why won't you let me hear your calls? I'm scared you're talking to other women. You make me feel so insecure. I'm going crazy."

He gently touched my face. "It's no use, Emma. Nothing you say matters anymore."

"What do I have to do to make you believe me?"

He just looked at me.

After a long moment, he ruffled my hair. "Get some sleep."

He turned off the light and pulled me down to lie beside him.

I was crushed inside. Maybe I wouldn't wake up.

In the dark, he buried his face in my neck. He seemed to be suffering too. He'd fallen for me, and now he'd have to get rid of me.

I was trembling, but I forced myself to hide my fear.

In the middle of the night, I turned on the light and sat up. I guessed he wasn't asleep either.

A burning smell hit him. He opened his eyes.

"What are you burning?"

"The photo from your wallet. I burned it. I've wanted to for a long time. If you're with me now, you shouldn't keep another woman's picture."

"You're asking for it."

He jumped out of bed and slapped me hard, then pressed my head against the wall.

"Who the hell told you to burn it?"

"I did. You saw me."

He shoved me to the floor and picked up the remaining corner of the photo.

I lunged at him again, scratching and hitting.

"Derek, didn't you say you love me the most? I burn one photo and you lose it? You hit me? Liar! Jerk! Scumbag!"

I bit his wrist hard enough to leave a mark. He shoved me away, saying I was insane.

That night, he let me go. He left and never came back to that place.

I'd escaped with my life—for now.

13.

I reported to the bureau. They ordered me to return immediately, saying I'd been exposed.

I knew I had. But I still couldn't bear to give up after eight months of work.

I asked for more time.

The day before I was supposed to return, two of my colleagues were killed while tailing a dealer.

They'd been brutally retaliated against—beheaded. Just like my father.

One was twenty-four, a girl who started with me. She smiled with two little fangs. She said she wished she was as smart and pretty as me.

The other was thirty-one.

At the scene, four words were written in blood: "Returning the favor."

This was Derek's revenge. I wasn't going back.

I called my captain and asked to continue the mission.

I was going to bring that arrogant man to justice and make him pay.

He hadn't killed me. That meant he wasn't sure I was a cop. And maybe, deep down, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

14.

I went to a bar called Gravity and spotted a figure on the red velvet sofa—Marco, the local crime boss.

I ordered a drink. When Marco's girlfriend got up from the bathroom, I deliberately tripped her. She fell, got up, grabbed me, and slapped me.

"Watch where you're going!"

I slapped her back.

"You watch it. Who do you think you are?"

We started fighting right in front of Marco. He stepped in to defend his girl, ordering his men to pull me away and rough me up. My bones ached.

Marco had them drag me over. I met his eyes with defiance. He grabbed my jaw. "Bring me the strongest liquor, the biggest bottle."

One of his men brought a large bottle of whiskey, pulled out the cork, and pried my mouth open.

I struggled, but they forced it in. Marco poured the whiskey down my throat. Liquid spilled from the corners of my mouth.

Tears streamed from my eyes. I twisted my head, searching for Derek.

I'd gotten word he was here tonight.

I was gambling. If I got into trouble, would he save me?

His men had been following me for days. He was probably watching to see if I'd go to the police.

They must have told him what was happening.

The whole bar gathered to watch Marco's show.

The owner was too weak to stand up to him.

Gulp after gulp. Half the bottle went down. I started to wonder if I'd miscalculated. Maybe Derek wouldn't come.

My vision blurred. Marco showed no sign of stopping, forcing the bottle deeper.

"Look, everyone! This little girl thinks she can mess with my woman!"

My eyes were bloodshot. My head was pounding. The world spun around me.

15.

Just as I was about to lose consciousness, a tall figure appeared beside me. The bottle was yanked from my throat and smashed over Marco's head.

A familiar voice: "Cut off his hands."

Chaos erupted. I was lifted into someone's arms.

...

When I woke up, I was in a strange room. Derek was by my side, dark circles under his eyes.

He grabbed my hand, his voice hoarse. "Emma. You're awake."

He'd saved me after all.

I felt terrible, but my heart was at ease. He'd investigated. He believed me now.

I asked him why he saved me if he didn't want me anymore.

He didn't answer at first. He pulled me into his arms and pressed soft kisses to my forehead, his lips trembling.

"I do want you, Emma. I was just scared... That day was too much of a coincidence... I'm sorry. Forgive me, okay?"

I turned away, letting disappointment show in my eyes. I pointed to my right cheek. "Will you hit me again? It was swollen for three days."

"Never again. If I do, may lightning strike me dead."

I didn't believe him.

He told me about Lily. That photo was all he had left of her, and I'd burned it. He said I was cruel.

If Lily hadn't taken those two knives for him, he'd have been killed.

He told me I'd been force-fed too much alcohol and had a gastric hemorrhage. I'd been unconscious for four days. He'd shaken me, pinched me—nothing. He was terrified I'd never wake up.

He'd cut off both of Marco's hands, but he still felt I'd been treated too harshly.

He slept beside me every night, waking up several times to check my breathing.

He stopped hiding his business from me.

Over the next few days, I kept my emotions volatile, testing how far his patience would go.

I barely spoke to him. He grew quiet too, but he never left my side.

16.

Then one day, a girl walked into our room and stared at us in surprise.

I saw her and flew into a rage. I grabbed the cup by the bed and smashed it against the wall.

"Derek, you liar! You have another woman? What am I to you?"

He'd been turned away from the door, pouring water and medicine for me. My outburst startled him. He looked confused.

The girl was scared too.

He turned, saw who it was, and wrapped his arms around me, trying to calm me down.

"Emma, you're overthinking. She's not another woman. She's my sister. Don't misunderstand."

He told the girl, "Leave. Don't stand there."

He held me tightly, helplessly. In that moment, I truly felt how important I'd become to him—how deeply I'd embedded myself in his cold bones.

"I left the medicine you asked for on the table outside."

The girl obeyed and left.

He buried his face in my neck, like a lost boy. "Emma, please don't be angry. Okay? You scare me like this."

I knew then. He loved me.

In the days that followed, I stabilized. I smiled again. He was relieved. Even when he couldn't go out himself, he'd find ways to have things delivered to make me happy.

His cooking was terrible. I barely ate. He asked me to teach him.

One day, his sister came again, carrying a large bag. After setting it down, she found me alone in the bedroom and pulled Derek to the balcony.

"Brother, I don't even recognize you."

"Mind your own business. The heat is too strong right now. Leave Seabrook."

She was silent for a moment. "If she's a cop, we're finished."

"She's not."

17.

There was a problem. Derek trusted me again, but he'd restricted my freedom. He'd taken my phone, saying it was too dangerous—the police could track me.

If I needed anything, he'd have someone buy it. He bought a stack of DVDs for me to watch, afraid I'd get bored.

I couldn't even go downstairs.

I had no way to contact the bureau.

Finally, one day, seeing how bored I was, he agreed to take me downstairs for a walk.

I spotted a rundown beauty salon and said I wanted to get a facial.

He agreed, took me in, and bought me a six-hundred-ninety-nine package.

The treatment took an hour, and he couldn't come into the back room. He waited outside.

Inside, I gave the beautician two hundred dollars to borrow her phone for a few minutes and keep it secret. She agreed.

I quickly texted my captain: "Safe. Have his trust. Suggest issuing a warrant to force him out of Seabrook."

He replied: "Roger. Stay safe."

I sent my current address, deleted everything, and returned the phone.

When I came out, I took Derek's arm, smiling. "Sorry for the wait. I fell asleep while she was working on me."

"Lazy pig."

Then he said, "Emma, go buy me a pack of cigarettes."

"Sure."

I walked to the convenience store across the street, my heart tense.

Sure enough, when I glanced back, he was talking to the beautician.

If she'd sold me out, I was done.

But after a moment, he came over.

"Got them?"

I shook my head. "They don't seem to have your brand."

He told the owner the name, and the owner went to the back to get a carton.

"Just tell the owner the name. Some brands aren't on display."

He seemed in a good mood. The beautician hadn't ratted me out.

The owner joked, "This girl's never bought cigarettes before."

Derek chuckled, took the cigarettes, and pulled me away.

Everything was normal at home. I confirmed the beautician had kept my secret.

18.

The bureau acted quickly. They posted a wanted notice online with a hefty reward for Derek Tang.

It was a major blow.

He had to leave immediately.

We stayed in the room for two days. Late one night, he shook me awake.

"Emma, don't sleep yet. We're going somewhere."

"Where?"

"Just follow me."

We went downstairs. A car was waiting. He pulled me into the back seat.

We drove out of the city in the dark.

The roads were rough and bumpy, unlit, abandoned highways.

Only the car's headlights showed the way. Everything else was pitch black.

He held my hand.

"Emma, are you scared?"

"Where are we going? Is it safe?"

"Once we're there, it's safe. My people are there."

I pretended to be nervous. "When will we get there?"

He gently stroked my head. "Don't be afraid, Emma. I'm here. Even if there's danger, I'll shield you and let you go first."

My heart skipped a beat, but I quickly steadied it.

He pulled me onto his shoulder. "Sleep against me. It's still early."

19.

From his conversation with the driver, I confirmed we were heading to his drug lab—a village deep in the mountains.

I closed my eyes, calmly planning how to send out the information once we arrived.

Derek and the driver took turns driving. Two days later, we entered a mountain range. We kept going deeper, more hidden.

No wonder we'd never found his lab. It was too well concealed.

After another two hours driving into the mountains, we reached a village and stopped in front of a villa.

"Emma, we're here. Get out."

I stepped out and looked around, stunned. In the middle of nowhere, there was a village where every house was a small villa.

Someone came to greet Derek.

He glanced at me and signaled Derek to step aside.

After they talked, Derek led me into the largest villa. Inside, I was even more shocked. It was lavishly decorated.

There were even servants.

Derek ordered, "Make some food."

He took me upstairs and ran a bath.

"Are we safe now?"

He pulled me into his arms and pressed his forehead to mine. "We're safe, Emma. You can relax now. You must be tired from the trip. Let's bathe first."

After washing off the exhaustion, Derek told me to eat first. He had to go out.

Once he left, I immediately scanned the room for hidden cameras.

20.

I stayed there for two weeks. I confirmed the entire village was Derek's people. There was a seemingly abandoned factory that was actually the center of the drug lab.

Behind the mountain, a large field of drug plants was growing.

One day, I was wandering around the village, thinking about how to send a message.

Derek had given me a phone, but it was monitored.

He still couldn't bet everything on me.

But that day, an elderly woman asked me to look at her phone. She said all her contacts had disappeared and asked if I could restore them.

It was a perfect opportunity. I took the phone, pretending to help.

While I worked on it, I sent the captain the location and situation.

He replied immediately: The bureau would take action at once.

21.

The weather was beautiful that day. Derek had arranged a meeting with a major buyer. He took the client to the back mountain for an inspection, and I went along.

They talked in a pavilion in the middle of the drug field.

I looked at the thriving plants, knowing they'd soon be uprooted and destroyed.

I climbed to the highest point of the back mountain and saw dozens of police cars entering the village below. Chaos erupted.

I turned back. The client's phone rang. Derek's rang too.

I walked back to the pavilion.

The client answered, his face turning pale. "Bad news. My men downstairs say the village is surrounded by police."

Derek was stunned. He shouted into his phone, "Gang, what the hell is going on? How did the police get in?"

My colleagues had not only taken the village but were advancing up the mountain.

"Look over there."

The client's assistant pointed to the officers coming up the hill.

"Damn it."

The client immediately drew his gun and aimed. I kicked it out of his hand, caught it midair, and pointed it at his head.

"Nobody move. Hands on your heads. Get down."

"You... you're a cop?"

"Shut up. Get down."

His assistant tried to reach for his gun. I fired a shot at his feet, leaving a hole in the ground.

"Drop the gun, or I'll shoot him."

His boss ordered him to comply. He dropped the weapon.

They had no chance. The pavilion was surrounded.

"Emma."

Derek stared at me in disbelief. A man who'd been through everything, and now he was stunned.

I turned my gun on him. "Don't move. Bullets don't have eyes."

He was a trapped beast.

The captain called out, "Drop your weapon. You're surrounded. Don't make this worse."

Derek still held his gun, his eyes fixed on me. "Emma. Tell me you're not a cop. You're just my Emma."

His eyes were filled with deep disappointment.

I met his gaze. "Derek, stop deluding yourself. You're surrounded. Put down the gun, or you'll be shot."

22.

The sky was a brilliant blue that day. But as the handcuffs clicked shut, Derek's eyes were clouded with an unshakable gloom.

The director had come personally for this operation. He called me over, and I briefed him.

He patted my shoulder, full of praise.

"Well done. A true heroine. Like father, like daughter. Lin's daughter is just as brave."

I beamed, stood straight, and saluted. "Thank you, Director."

That was the proudest moment of my life.

I turned. Derek was staring at me. For a moment, I felt like a child he'd abandoned.

Before we went down the mountain, he raised his shackled hands and pointed at me, saying to the officer escorting him, "Can she be the one to take me in?"

No one granted that request.

23.

Back at the bureau, I went by my real name again—Lynn Lin.

Emma was just my undercover alias.

Derek refused to talk. His lack of cooperation was a headache.

But the evidence against him was clear. We had enough to convict.

What I didn't expect was that during Derek's interrogation, Julian Qin returned from his military mission and found me.

Julian and I grew up together. You could call us childhood sweethearts.

He'd always loved to tease me and protect me. He said only he was allowed to bully me—pulling my ponytail was a favorite pastime.

But when he went to the store for snacks, he always brought something for me.

He didn't start taking school seriously until high school. He was gifted. After buckling down, he got into military academy.

Two years ago, his unit sent him on a secret mission. He couldn't contact anyone.

His last call to me was to say he'd submit a marriage application when he got back. He wanted to marry me. I said if he came back, I'd say yes.

That day, I walked out of the bureau. Julian stood at the gate, holding a huge bouquet, grinning like an idiot.

"Lynn, I'm back."

Tall and straight, he drew the attention of everyone passing by.

Two years apart. His skin was darker, but his eyes were still bright.

"What are you doing here?"

He pinched my cheek like he always did. "I'm on leave. Came back to see my wife. And marry her. Look, I've already written the application."

He pulled a folded A4 paper from his pocket and snapped it open.

I froze.

Colleagues walking by leaned in, reading aloud, "Marriage Application..."

Soon they were crowding around, congratulating us.

"Congratulations! Don't forget to invite us!"

"Julian, long time no see! Need help with the wedding candy?"

"Lynn, do you have a bridesmaid yet? Can I be one?"

Julian took my hand and smiled at them. "Of course. Couldn't do it without you. Keep the date open. I'll treat you all to dinner another time. Today, I need to spend time with my wife."

He called me "wife" like it was the most natural thing in the world.

I was happy he'd made it back safely.

But marriage...

At least, I couldn't accept the weight of his love.

24.

That evening, after dinner, I looked at him seriously. "Julian, about the wedding—I was just going along with it back then. Don't take it seriously."

He was stunned. He moved closer and grabbed my hand tightly.

"Lynn, don't scare me. I'm serious. You know I've loved you since we were kids. And before I left, we agreed. When I came back, you'd marry me."

"I've always seen you as a brother. I never agreed to be your girlfriend. I said yes to the marriage because I wanted you to come back safe. Julian, let's just be friends. You'll find someone more interesting than me."

He stared at me in disbelief. After a long silence, he poured himself a full glass of wine and downed it.

"Stop drinking. There are plenty of girls better than me. Even in your unit, there are so many impressive female soldiers. They'd be a better match. I have a lot of work at the bureau. I need to get some rest. I have to organize files tomorrow morning."

He grabbed my arm, not letting me leave. After a moment, he spoke.

"I heard a little about your undercover work from my dad. If you're rejecting me because of that, you're wrong. My heart isn't big, but it can always hold you."

Julian's father was our bureau's political commissar.

I hardened my heart and left. Julian stood out wherever he went. He could marry any girl who matched him.

I genuinely wished him well.

If it weren't for this mission, I knew—if he came back with the same heart—I would have married him.

But I didn't regret it. The day I chose to be a narcotics officer, I'd already accepted the possibility of death.

I believed my father's spirit found peace in my proudest moment.

25.

The next morning, I opened my door. Julian was sleeping right outside. He nearly fell in when I opened it.

He woke up, scrambled to his feet, and hugged me tightly.

"Lynn..."

"Let's get married. It doesn't matter to me. In my eyes, Lynn will always be the brightest star."

"If I can't marry you, I'll be a disobedient son for life. I'll stay a bachelor forever. You know my dad would kill me."

"Julian, calm down."

He held me tighter.

"I can't. Listen, Lynn. I know why you became a narcotics officer. It's because of your uncle. I've always supported you. As long as you're safe at the end of it, and I get to marry you, that's all I need. You're so brave and amazing now. He'd be proud of you."

"Do you know what I was thinking last night, drinking alone? My mind was full of little versions of you. I tried to catch them, but I couldn't catch a single one. I was panicking. Remember? I told you a long time ago I wanted to marry you. You didn't say yes, but you didn't say no either. Now that I've written the application, you're backing out? You're going to destroy me."

"Lynn, I never told you. Our mission was incredibly dangerous. Five of us went. Three didn't come back. The only reason I survived was that I told myself I had to come back and marry Lynn. If you hadn't agreed to marry me before I left, I might not have made it."

I was shocked. I knew his mission was dangerous, but not that dangerous.

Hearing that made my heart ache for him.

And I knew how cruel it would be to push him away now.

"Let go a little."

"Don't push me away. Let me hold you a bit longer."

"I said yes. Let's get married."

He immediately pulled back, his face lighting up. "Really? You mean it?"

I nodded. "But what about your parents?"

"Hmph. They agree. Really. If you don't believe me, I'll take you to see them right now. If I'm lying, you can call off the wedding."

He patted himself down, suddenly looking panicked.

"What's wrong?"

"Damn it. I lost the engagement ring. I must have dropped it when I was drunk last night. I'm such an idiot. It's okay, it's okay. I have money. I'll go buy another one right now."

I pointed at the velvet box by the door. "Is this it?"

He looked, grabbed it, and wiped off the dust like it was precious.

"That's it. It just fell here. Thank god."

He snapped it open and dropped to one knee. "Lynn. Mar