Eighteen Years Wasted

I arrived in the era of Lady Pearl, becoming the woman Everett Snow would never be able to touch for the rest of his life.

Eighteen autumns came and went. When Everett Snow, now draped in imperial robes, saw me again, his eyes were rimmed with red.

I sidestepped him gracefully. "Your Majesty should address me as Lady Wei."

1

When I first crossed over, my predecessor had already clapped hands twice with Warren Wang in a betrothal pact.

Beside her stood a man barely covered in rags, silently watching as she severed ties with her father.

The picture of honest simplicity.

Just as the third clap was about to fall, I used my wits and fainted.

Everett tried to take me away, but my mother pushed him back. "Pearl is in this state! Are you trying to drive her to death?"

I kept my eyes shut, letting the maids carry me back to my embroidered tower, where they forced water and medicine down my throat.

Through it all, I could hear my parents arguing. Mother insisted the pact was incomplete—three claps never finished—so Pearl was still a daughter of the Wang family.

After a long while, I coughed lightly, opened my sorrowful eyes, and whispered, "Father. Mother."

"Don't call me father!"

I struggled out of bed and knelt heavily before them, tears streaming down my face.

"Father, I made a pact with you. The first two claps were to show Everett my feelings, but the third—I dare not complete it."

"Your kindness in raising me is heavier than a mountain. How could I be an unfilial daughter?"

"I was foolish before, blinded by selfish love. Please punish me as you see fit!"

My parents hurried to lift me up, tears of relief streaming down their weathered faces.

2

I was once again the legitimate third daughter of the Chancellor's estate—silk dresses, fine food, the jewel of the family.

Jade looked worried. "Miss, Mr. Everett is terribly concerned about you. What should we do now?"

"What can we do? I'm heartbroken and bedridden. I simply cannot go out to see him."

I picked a golden butterfly hairpin and tucked it into my hair, admiring myself in the bronze mirror. Life at the Chancellor's mansion agreed with me—my skin was fair with a healthy glow.

Jade clearly couldn't keep up with my transformation. She stammered, "Miss, didn't you swear you'd marry no one but Mr. Everett?"

"That was before." I smiled at her. "I'm your mistress now. Just do as I say."

Everett stood outside the mansion gates, watching sunrise after sunset.

I made my stance clear to my parents—I would never marry Everett Snow—and had the news locked down inside the estate.

Jade slipped out to see him.

"Mr. Everett, Miss was unconscious for a whole day and night. The first thing she did when she woke was send me to tell you not to worry."

Everett stomped his foot in distress. "She was unconscious that long? How can I not worry?"

When Jade reported back, I burst out laughing.

Three days later, Jade went to see him again.

"When Miss woke up, she knelt and begged the master and mistress to approve your marriage. The master flew into a rage and locked her in the wood shed..."

"What? How is Pearl now?"

"She's refusing to eat. She said, 'I'd rather die than betray you.'"

Everett crouched on the ground, clutching his head and sobbing. "I'm useless. I've failed Pearl!"

I remained unmoved.

But Jade's heart softened. "Mr. Everett really is pitiful."

I glanced at her. "Would you like to go keep him company?"

"Never, Miss!" She knelt quickly. "The servants have chased him away several times, but he won't leave. He says if you're suffering inside, he'll suffer outside with you."

After watching her for days, I realized Jade wasn't a bad girl—just brainwashed by her former mistress. Time to re-educate her.

"Jade, let me ask you. If I were really locked in that wood shed, would his waiting outside do any good?"

Jade shook her head.

"He waits because he can't do anything else. He can't give me anything. So he uses the cheapest method possible to move me."

Jade was silent.

"I could be living like a princess. But he'd rather watch me destroy my relationship with my family for him. Is that love? No. That's selfishness."

"Because with his circumstances, he'll never find a girl prettier or better than me."

3

In the original story, Lady Pearl sacrificed everything for a man of unknown origins—severed ties with her parents, waited eighteen years in a cold cave.

If she'd been waiting for a good man, maybe it would've been worth it. But what was Everett Snow?

A textbook scumbag.

It's unbelievable that such a twisted story was romanticized and passed down through the ages.

Since I was here, I would personally destroy this "beautiful legend."

Everett waited outside for over ten days. Jade kept feeding him updates, but he never saw me. His daily vigil shrank from seven or eight hours to two or three.

Then he stopped coming altogether.

"See? Barely ten days." I said to Jade. "Did he leave any message?"

"Mr. Everett said he'd find a way to make money so the master and mistress would respect him. He promised to give you a good life."

"Really?"

I looked down at the jade bracelet on my wrist—flawless, priceless.

Eighteen years from now, Everett would become the King of Xiliang, reclaim his heritage, and inherit the Tang dynasty's throne.

To be safe, I couldn't offend him.

I would make him give me up willingly—and carry the guilt.

The cruelest way to revenge on a man is to become the woman he can never have.

I secretly went to the cold cave. Before leaving, I removed all my jewelry and dressed plainly to blend in.

The neighbors said Everett had been running around looking for work.

When he returned, I was standing thin and frail in the wind, coughing delicately like a willow in a storm.

"Pearl! What are you doing here?" His face lit up.

I gazed at him with longing, words caught in my throat, choked with emotion.

"Everett, I can't go another day without you."

He pulled me into his arms, his eyes full of joy at having me back. "We'll never be apart."

I rested my head on his shoulder, coughing weakly.

Jade chimed in, "Miss starved herself for days to force the master and mistress to agree. She came straight to see you, even though she's still unwell."

Everett quickly took off his coat and wrapped it around me. "Come inside. There's a draft."

4

The cold cave was dark, airless, and smelled terrible.

I couldn't help sneezing.

Thinking about how Lady Pearl spent eighteen years here made me want to call her an idiot.

"Miss, the doctor said you can't skip your medicine or it'll leave lasting damage."

Jade had learned her lines well. Good girl.

"What medicine?" Everett helped me sit down.

I dabbed at my lips with a handkerchief. "Just some tonics for my blood. Don't worry, Everett. I'll be fine without them."

"Absolutely not. Your health comes first." Everett swore. "Give me the prescription. I'll get them."

Everett scrounged up a piece of paper from somewhere in the cave and took the prescription I'd written.

The herbs I'd listed—astragalus, wolfberry, codonopsis—none of them were cheap.

Jade pulled out a compact of powder. I leaned over the basin and coated my face to look as sickly as possible.

When Everett returned with the medicine, his expression was grim.

He tried to act casual. Jade piped up innocently, "Oh, this will only last two doses. The doctor said Miss needs at least three months of treatment."

Everett's composure nearly cracked, but he forced a smile. "Don't worry. I'll buy more when this runs out."

That night, I slept in the bed while Everett made a pallet on the floor, separated by a tattered bamboo curtain.

I told him I wanted to wait until I was well enough to bow before the red candles with him before sharing a bed like husband and wife.

Everett agreed. "You're a proper lady from a noble house. The rituals must be observed."

He used to be a beggar. Now he'd found work unloading cargo at the river docks—three coppers a day.

But my medicine alone cost at least five coppers daily, not to mention food and other expenses. Everett's meager savings were quickly depleted.

At night, he tossed and turned on his straw mat.

Through the bamboo curtain, I asked softly, "Everett, what's wrong?"

After a long pause, he spoke. "Did you bring anything when you left home?"

"What?" I pretended not to understand.

"You know... jewelry, things like that. You're a chancellor's daughter. I thought you might have some on you."

I stayed silent.

"Pearl?"

Finally, my voice came out small and pitiful. "Everett, how do you think I escaped the mansion?"

"Mother was afraid I'd starve to death. She relented and let me dress as a servant girl, then sneaked me out."

"Oh." He sighed deeply. "I see."

Everett's medicine purchases grew smaller each time. He started buying inferior quality.

He looked at me, frail and helpless, and frowned. "Does this medicine even work? All drugs have side effects. Maybe you should take a break?"

Jade spoke for me. "The doctor said you need three full months to see results!"

Everett shot her a look of barely concealed disgust.

Later, he spoke to me privately.

"Pearl, look. I'm working hard to support us. Supporting you is no problem, but three people is a bit much..."

"You want to send Jade away? She's been with me since childhood."

"Of course not!" He forced a smile. "I meant the neighbor lady found a job for Jade—washing dishes at an inn..."

"Then who'll boil my medicine? Who'll cook?"

"You can learn those things. You can't be waited on hand and foot forever..."

5

But I *could* have been waited on hand and foot forever.

*You* dragged me into this dark, suffocating cave. *You* made me live your life.

And you did it all under the banner of love.

Making a servant go out to earn money for her mistress—only Everett could come up with something so absurd.

The night was thick as ink. I cleared my throat. "Jade has never washed dishes before. If she breaks something, we'll lose more than we gain."

He was silent for a long time. Maybe he was angry.

I didn't want him to hate me yet.

So I offered, "There are wild greens on the mountain. Tomorrow Jade and I will go pick some. It'll save us money on food."

"Good, good." Everett agreed eagerly. "I'm sorry you have to do this. Once I make money, I'll give you a good life."

"Mm-hmm."

The next day, I took Jade up the mountain to pick wild vegetables.

It was actually fun—like a farm stay experience. Organic, green, natural. The greens had a unique flavor.

But I only lasted two days.

My back ached. My hands hurt. And I craved meat.

Under the scorching sun, I collapsed from exhaustion.

When I woke up, Dr. Chen had just finished taking my pulse.

Everett looked guilty. "Pearl, it's my fault. Your body hasn't recovered. I shouldn't have let you go out."

Jade rolled her eyes behind his back.

Dr. Chen said, "This young lady has a noble constitution. She's not suited for such labor. Combined with poor nutrition, she's suffering from both blood and qi deficiency. If not properly treated, it could affect her ability to bear children!"

Everett panicked visibly. He begged the doctor to cure me.

Dr. Chen wrote out a long prescription—ginseng, donkey-hide gelatin, longan, astragalus, atractylodes—all expensive ingredients Everett couldn't afford.

My health deteriorated day by day. Pale face. Weak legs. Unable to care for myself.

Thirty percent real. Seventy percent acting.

Everett brought me stale wild vegetable soup and urged me to drink more.

I'd had enough. I fainted again.

"Miss!"

Jade's scream nearly startled me awake. Her acting was even better than mine. She threw herself over me, wailing.

I kept my eyes shut.

I actually fell asleep thinking about things.

I woke to more crying. Jade was sobbing her heart out. Anyone would've thought I'd died.

Everett held my hand, tears streaming. "Pearl, I'm useless. That quack doctor just wanted to cheat us out of money!"

I whispered weakly, "Everett, it's all my fault. I shouldn't have starved myself for you."

Jade chimed in perfectly. "Miss, you starved yourself *for* Mr. Everett. How can you blame yourself?"

I turned my head away, coughing into my handkerchief.

6

The man Lady Pearl fell for wasn't completely worthless.

To afford my medicine, he worked two jobs from dawn till dusk. He lost weight. His stubble grew unchecked. A man in his twenties looked weathered beyond his years.

After days of this, seeing no improvement in my condition, he was reaching his limit.

I dabbed at my tears. "What's the use of this broken body? Can't carry, can't lift, can't share any of your burdens. And I still need those expensive medicines. Just let me die."

At first, Everett tried to comfort me. Then he just fell silent.

After several false starts, he finally couldn't hold back anymore.

"Pearl, I want to spend my life with you. But I can't watch you..."

He couldn't finish.

I finished for him.

"You know what sending me back means?"

"It means my parents will watch me even more closely. It'll be harder to see you."

"I don't want to leave you. I'd rather die."

My voice cracked with tears, but my gaze was firm.

Everett pressed his lips together tightly, then punched the cave wall. He stood there silently for a long time.

This was probably a man's most tragic moment—loving someone deeply but having no ability to keep her.

Maybe I should've felt a little sympathy.

But then I thought about how he made Lady Pearl wait eighteen years, and I withdrew my mercy.

He sent me back in the end.

As I walked through the gates of the Chancellor's mansion, I looked back every few steps, like the White Snake bidding farewell to her husband before being trapped under Thunder Peak Pagoda.

Such devotion. Such reluctance.

The vermillion gates closed slowly.

Before we parted, he said, "Pearl, I'll wait for you. Wait until you're well..."

But you know what?

No one waits forever.

Everett's figure finally disappeared.

I immediately picked up my skirts and strode briskly, instructing Jade.

Not a trace of my "terminal illness" remained.

"Tell the kitchen to bring the best dishes—braised ribs, sweet-and-sour fish, braised trotters, osmanthus cake, lotus root stuffed with sticky rice... Heat water for a bath. I stink!"

Being a young lady again was so comfortable.

Dr. Chen had been arranged beforehand. I sent someone with a thank-you gift.

As for my parents, I'd already smoothed things over with them.

The next news of Everett came over a month later.

7

I was feeding koi fish by the pond when Jade handed me a letter. It was from Everett.

"Pearl, I don't want to spend my life accomplishing nothing, unable to protect the woman I love. I'm going to join the army. I'll earn my merits and come back for you. —Everett."

I crumpled the letter into a ball and tossed it far into the pond.

The paper slowly unfurled in the water, the ink bleeding until the words were illegible.

Koi gathered at my feet, swishing their tails as they fought for the fish food I'd just scattered.

"I never saw this letter. Neither did you." I said.

"Miss, are you cutting ties with Mr. Everett for good?"

I gazed into the distance.

The trees here were centuries old, planted by the Wang ancestors. The flowers and plants were rare species, carefully trimmed. Even this pond was several times larger than Everett's cold cave.

"Jade, do you know?"

I traced the amethyst bracelet on my wrist and sighed softly.

"I never hated Everett for being poor."

The worst kind of man is the one who swears he'll love you forever but can give you neither money nor love.

Did Everett really send me back because he was afraid I'd die of illness?

No.

He had something of immense value. He could've pawned it.

He just didn't want to.

Or maybe he didn't want to keep me that badly.

He'd already calculated everything.

In the future, Everett would marry the Xiliang princess. After all, how many men can resist the double temptation of power and beauty?

Would he remember me then?

I wasn't sure.

It didn't matter anymore.

Lady Pearl would start a new life from now on.

8

The Wang family had three daughters. The eldest, Goldie, married Solomon Su. The second, Silver, married Hugo Wei.

Silver had always looked down on Everett, which made her the "villain" in the original story.

But I looked down on him too. When my second sister heard I'd come to my senses, she was overjoyed, and our sisterly bond was restored.

It seemed the line between hero and villain wasn't so absolute after all.

I became the family's darling. My parents wanted to keep things in the family and arranged for me to marry Hugo's younger brother, Paul.

Paul had always coveted Pearl's beauty, but she'd dismissed him. He hated Everett for it and was portrayed as a villainous playboy in the story.

But now I had questions.

Why was Everett's love for Pearl a "touching, heaven-defying romance"?

While Paul's love for Pearl was just "coveting her beauty"?

Both were men attracted to a woman. Both involved looks and desire. Whose love was more noble?

My disgust for Everett actually made me less hostile toward Paul.

But that didn't mean I wanted to marry him.

I made my refusal clear to my parents.

At my father's fiftieth birthday banquet, every eligible bachelor was dressed to impress. The young ladies were dazzling as a hundred flowers in bloom. The atmosphere was lively.

My eldest sister pulled me aside for a heart-to-heart. My second sister gave me a misty cloud silk dress. I couldn't put it down and slipped back to my room to try it on.

The servants were all busy in the front courtyard. The back was quiet except for the chirping of cicadas.

I took off my outer robe only to discover the dress had a dozen tangled ribbons I couldn't undo.

And Jade, my ever-reliable maid, was nowhere to be found.

Just as I was getting flustered, the door opened.

A pair of black brocade boots stepped inside.

I quickly grabbed my clothes to cover myself.

"Paul?"

I guessed his identity.

He was tall and reasonably handsome. His eyes swept over me from head to toe, a smirk playing on his lips.

"You're not as nervous as last time. Interesting."

Oh no. I was naive.

This one was worse than Everett.

I stepped back. He stepped forward, cornering me against the bed.

9

"Not screaming this time?" Paul raised an eyebrow.

He'd dared to barge into my private chambers, which meant he'd prepared well—with inside help. Screaming would be useless.

I straightened my expression. "Father and Mother are probably discussing our engagement right now. Are you really in such a hurry?"

"I heard you refused outright. Brother was getting impatient, so I had to take matters into my own hands."

He ripped away the dress I was using as a shield, leaving me in my undergarments with my arms bare.

I didn't feel ashamed. Just angry.

Paul was a head taller than me. In terms of strength, men had the absolute advantage.

If I struggled, it would only fuel his cruelty and desire to dominate.

I lifted my eyes slowly, like a spoiled girl begging. "If you ruin my reputation, how will I live?"

He hadn't expected this reaction. He paused, then grinned, whispering in my ear, "Once the rice is cooked, I can marry you."

I draped my arm around his neck, a seductive smile on my lips. "You're so bad."

Then I let my body go limp, collapsing onto the bed.

A man blinded by lust has no reason. I let out a few soft, inviting moans, and he threw caution to the wind.

I reached up and adjusted the pillow.

He leaned in. I closed my eyes in surrender.

Then I opened them.

A piercing scream shattered the silence of the back courtyard, drowning out the cicadas.

Paul clutched himself, his eyes bloodshot, hatred burning in them like he wanted to devour me.

Blood on the bed. Crimson. Terrifying.

Mother had recently been teaching me the ancient art of cross-stitch—embroidery, they called it in this era. I'd hidden the scissors under my pillow.

Good scissors.

Steady. Accurate. Ruthless.

I wiped the spit from my face, quickly pulled on my clothes, and fled in panic.

"Help! Someone, help!"

10

The sudden commotion interrupted my father's birthday feast.

Mother and my eldest sister shielded me while I sobbed uncontrollably.

My second sister wouldn't even look at me. She just kept muttering, "How could this happen?"

Father argued with Paul's father for a long time, their voices growing louder.

Paul was screaming in agony in the inner chamber. Probably not dying, though.

After a while, the doctor emerged with his medicine box. He sighed at my father and Mr. Wei, then shook his head.

Mr. Wei nearly lifted the doctor off the ground. "What do you mean by shaking your head? Explain yourself!"

"Master Wei's second son... in terms of producing heirs, I'm afraid..."

"Don't talk nonsense! He's not even married yet!" Mr. Wei roared.

I burrowed deeper into Mother's arms, crying harder, my whole body trembling.

My second sister's voice was flat. "Third sister, even if Master Wei harassed you, did you have to cripple him?"

My eldest sister shot back, "Second sister, what kind of talk is that?"

I sensed the situation turning against me.

So I suddenly pulled away from Mother and turned to the room, tears streaming.

"Second sister told me to go change into the new dress. Then Master Wei burst in and said he'd force himself on me to make me marry him. When I refused, he tried to take me by force... I... I can't live like this!"

I lunged toward a pillar.

I made sure to stumble, giving Jade time to stop me.

She did well.

She cried even louder than I did. "Miss, you can't die!"

Seeing this, Father straightened his back and put on the air of the chief minister.

"Wei Nianwu, you failed to teach your son. He assaulted my daughter in broad daylight, and now you're trying to blame the victim. I demand justice, or I'll take this all the way to the Emperor!"

Good!

I silently applauded my chancellor father.

Just as we'd gained the moral high ground, Mr. Wei turned to me.

"Pearl, tell me the truth. Did Paul really... really consummate the marriage with you?"

I froze.

He hadn't.

But this was ancient times, not modern society with self-defense laws. If I said no, I'd be punished for injuring Paul.

If I said yes, that wouldn't work either.

Mr. Wei stared at me with hawk-like eyes. "I can have a female physician examine the third young lady!"

11

The table shook as someone slammed it. The teacups rattled.

"Master Wei, hasn't my daughter suffered enough today?" Father's voice was steady and commanding.

Mother signaled for us to leave.

I could guess how they'd resolve this—the most advantageous solution for both sides. Sweep it under the rug.

So when my parents told me that night that they'd agreed to my marriage to Paul, I wasn't surprised.

They explained that they'd done their best to contain the news. Only marriage could stop the rumors. Otherwise, my reputation would be ruined for life.

I wanted to ask: Paul was the one at fault. He committed the crime. I did nothing wrong. Why was *my* reputation the one being destroyed?

But I swallowed the words.

This era was harsh on women and forgiving to men.

Still, they'd tried their best to protect me. I couldn't blame them.

"I will obey my parents' wishes."

I knelt and kowtowed. "But please grant me three requests."

"First, my dowry must not be less than my sisters'."

"Second, after what happened today, Paul will hold a grudge. Please protect me, Father. Send capable guards with me to the Wei estate. I'll need to visit often to check on your health."

"Third, when the incident occurred, Jade was suddenly called away by my second sister's maid. The servants near my chambers were also reassigned to the front courtyard by my second brother-in-law. Father, you're an intelligent man. If you investigate, I'm sure you'll find something suspicious."

Mother's face went pale. "Your second sister..."

12

Three months later, Paul and I were married.

He hated me to the bone and never set foot in my room.

I slept alone in peace.

Father had made his stance clear, so the Wei family, despite their disgust, didn't dare show it openly.

News of Paul's injury had been suppressed, but rumors still spread through the capital that he'd been damaged and couldn't perform.

Paul was so furious he couldn't eat for days.

I went to Mr. Wei. "Father, family scandals shouldn't be aired. I have a plan."

"I'll pretend to be pregnant. Later, we can adopt my second sister and brother-in-law's child and claim it as mine. That'll disprove the rumors. The child is still Wei blood, raised in the same household."

Mr. Wei nodded in agreement.

Silver was furious. When she confronted me privately, I blocked her slap.

"Second sister, I'm in this situation because of you. You reap what you sow. If you cross me again, I won't go easy on you."

I wasn't afraid of household politics.

I was the one who spread those rumors.

Paul never shared my bed. That incident had left him with lasting psychological trauma.

Several times he pinned me down, biting and clawing. I left bloody scratches on his neck.

I called him a madman. He called me the same.

A year later, Hugo led an army against Xiliang and died in battle. I returned the child to my second sister.

Three years later, Mr. Wei fell gravely ill and passed away at home.

Paul took over the household. He was incompetent and struggled to manage the estate. I offered to help.

I learned to read account books. I managed the servants with a balance of kindness and authority. Eventually, Paul dumped all the household affairs on me.

Silver tried to take over management, but she lacked the skill, and Paul didn't want to lose control. She never succeeded.

Without realizing it, Paul and I fought less. He'd grown accustomed to relying on me.

Four years later, I was the true mistress of the Wei estate. Even Silver had to show me proper respect.

Five years later, our kingdom and Xiliang signed a truce. The people finally tasted peace.

I used my dowry to open a tea house called "One Sip" on the main street of the capital. Business was good.

Six years later, I traveled south regularly, braving heat and cold, to find quality tea sources. Each trip took months on the road.

Eight years later, I had thirty-four tea houses across every province.

Ten years later, a drought hit the central plains. I donated one hundred thousand silver taels from my tea business to relief efforts and converted my shops into shelters with free porridge stations. I became a legend in the capital.

Emperor Suzong heard of my deeds and granted me the title "First-Ranked Lady of Honor."

I could now enter the palace and have audiences with His Majesty.

Not as the chancellor's daughter. Not as Lady Wei.

But as Pearl Wang.

I proposed to the Emperor that we export tea along the Silk Road.

The land route reached the Western Regions. The sea route could go abroad.

The Emperor laughed heartily and pointed at me. "You, woman, are not honest!"

"Long live the Emperor!"

My voice trembled with excitement and joy.

When I left the palace, the sun was bright and the sky was clear.

Later, more people around the world drank my tea. They might not remember my shop's name, but they knew this tea came from the Great Tang.

At my father's sixty-eighth birthday feast, he leaned on his dragon-headed cane and called me over. "Pearl, come sit by your father."

He announced proudly to everyone, "Who says women can't match men? My Pearl surpasses all the sons in the world!"

The guests nodded in agreement. I knew it wasn't flattery.

Amid the clinking of cups, I looked at the dull man beside me—Paul. Eighteen years had passed just like that.

The tea at the banquet came from my shops.

It was crisp on the palate and left a lingering aftertaste.

Pearl, you see? Eighteen years can be spent doing so many meaningful things.

Why waste precious time on a man who wasn't worth it?

Sure, the man I married wasn't great either.

But I didn't become his accessory. He couldn't stop me from shining. I lived boldly and passionately.

Who needs to dig for wild vegetables?

13

In the blink of an eye, I was thirty-six.

I'd taken good care of myself over the years. My business was thriving. My spirits were high. My skin was still smooth and radiant.

I wasn't as beautiful as in my youth, but I didn't resent time.

Everett Snow, now King of Xiliang, traveled thousands of miles to the capital to discuss trade between our kingdoms and Xiliang.

He didn't rush back. He said the Great Tang was his homeland and he wanted to stay a few more days.

During his stay, General Liu recognized an item he carried. Everett was revealed to be the long-lost prince of Emperor Suzong.

Everett reclaimed his heritage. When Emperor Suzong passed, he ascended the throne. Xiliang's affairs were left to Prince Lancelot.

The coronation and the queen's installation were held simultaneously.

Holding Everett's hand was Princess Zara of Xiliang. Their son and daughter were named crown prince and princess.

I knelt far below the nine-foot platform in my first-ranked lady's robes, my heart utterly still.

After the sixteen-carriage dragon palanquin passed, the officials and their wives could rise. I wanted to rub my sore knees, but I saw the man on the palanquin turn back.

I looked straight ahead, pretending not to see.

On the last day of the Autumn Moon Osmanthus Festival, Queen Zara celebrated her birthday. The Emperor wanted a grand affair. All titled ladies were required to attend.

The Queen wore a crimson palace gown, as magnificent as the peonies in her hair.

The crown prince and princess played around her. Zara watched them with a loving expression, occasionally raising her glass to the Emperor, her eyes full of affection.

After several rounds of wine, I excused myself, claiming I couldn't hold my liquor. A eunuch blocked my path.

"Lady Wei, His Majesty requests your presence at Jade Flower Palace."

Jade Flower Palace was a side hall, far from the festivities, usually deserted.

I leaned on Jade's arm and went. As soon as I crossed the threshold, the eunuch stopped Jade and closed the doors.

Arms wrapped around me from behind.

14

"Pearl," a muffled voice came from behind me. "I've missed you so much."

I took a deep breath and pried his hands off.

Then I stepped back and knelt in a cold, formal tone. "Your humble servant greets Your Majesty."

"When His Majesty summons a titled lady, it should be done by imperial decree, in the main hall, with eunuchs and maids in attendance. That is the proper palace protocol."

"Pearl!" He tried to help me up.

I sidestepped. "Your Majesty should address me as Lady Wei."

Everett looked much older. Deep fatigue lined his face. The moonlight cast a glow on his imperial yellow robe, making his features seem even more haggard and dim.

"Pearl, you're still as beautiful as ever."

He stared at me for a long time, his voice hoarse.

I was speechless, but I answered calmly, "Her Majesty the Queen is a national beauty. Your humble servant dares not compare."

"No!" He swallowed. "Marrying her was a strategic move. I've thought of you every moment for eighteen years."

"Why didn't you wait for me?"

I blinked, wondering if I'd heard correctly.

He repeated himself earnestly. "I left you a letter before joining the army. I told you to wait. I fought and bled for my achievements, all so I could return to you in glory."

"I never received your letter."

He frowned, muttering to himself. "It never reached you? Or was it intercepted? Maybe your father's people..."

Mindful of our positions, I kept my voice level. "Your Majesty says you thought of me for eighteen years. Then why did you marry someone else? And if you married someone else, what right do you have to question why I didn't wait?"

He was used to being above reproach. My words made him uncomfortable.

"Let the past be past. Can we start over?"

He stepped forward to embrace me but caught only air.

I stepped back. "I am now Paul Wei's wife. Is Your Majesty going to take another man's wife by force?"

He smiled—whether in relief or schadenfreude, I couldn't tell.

"I've had people investigate. Paul is impotent. Marrying him doesn't matter. I'll have you divorced."

Half his face was hidden in the shadow of the candlelight beneath his crown. He already had the bearing of an emperor.

"And then?" I asked.

"Our dynasty has precedents—Empress Wu and Consort Yang. You can enter a nunnery briefly, then return to the palace."

"One changed the Li dynasty's surname. The other nearly destroyed the kingdom. I admire both women greatly, but is Your Majesty sure you want to gamble with the empire?"

I paused, letting the mockery show in my eyes. "Your Majesty, you are truly... delusional."

Everett's face darkened.

He seemed genuinely confused.

Yes—a woman who once loved him to distraction, now cold and unyielding. How could she be so unreachable?

Silence filled the air.

The night wind was cold. Crickets chirped outside.

Finally, he spoke softly. "The Queen and I..."

Two light knocks came at the door. A eunuch's cautious voice followed.

"Your Majesty, it's time to return to the banquet. Her Majesty the Queen is looking for you everywhere."

He sounded annoyed but said to me, "I understand. You hate that I married someone else."

"No, Your Majesty doesn't understand."

"Who Your Majesty marries has nothing to do with me."

If anyone else spoke to him like this, they'd be punished.

As if I was the ungrateful one.

Defeated, he was urged again by the eunuch and swept out.

Before leaving, he ordered, "Lady Wei is drunk. Let her rest in the palace."

15

I was confined to Jade Flower Palace. Servants brought in daily necessities and hurried away without raising their heads.

I was under house arrest.

Everett came every day for a while, talking endlessly, asking what I wanted, saying he could give me anything.

He thought he could move me.

I had no reaction. I sat in a chair, chin in hand, looking out the window.

I thought about next year's tea harvest. I thought about switching to double-entry bookkeeping.

Jade should have gotten out of the palace by now, following my instructions.

I was lost in these scattered thoughts. I didn't hear what he said. I didn't even notice when he stormed out.

Soon after, the Queen came.

She didn't let me rise. She studied me for a long time, then sneered.

"His Majesty has been distracted lately. I thought some vixen had bewitched him. Turns out it's Lady Wei."

The Queen's Mandarin was imperfect. I looked up at the bejeweled woman. She was no longer slender. There was no trace of the battlefield warrior she'd once been.

"If you were a slut like this in Xiliang, I'd have killed a dozen of you with my spear."

Most women react this way when their husband's affections wander.

But I was still a little annoyed.

"This is the Great Tang. I am a first-ranked lady appointed by the late Emperor. Even Your Majesty cannot convict me without cause."

"You!"

I got straight to the point.

"Your Majesty must have investigated before coming here. But gossip and truth rarely match. Please calm your anger and let me tell you the story of what happened."

She couldn't throw