The Rose Trap

Good Girl

The moment the operation closed in, I was the one who snapped the silver handcuffs around his wrists.

He tilted his face up to look at me, that stubborn glint still flickering in his eyes.

"Good girl... did you ever really love me?"

I laughed. Bent down. Gently patted his cheek.

"No."

"Sit tight in your cell, my dear hero."

…

Who would've guessed that the very next day, this man—who had required half the city's police force and a six-month stakeout to catch—would just... walk out of prison.

---

1

Adrian Vance had escaped.

By the time the news reached my ears, my application for a first-class merit citation hadn't even been approved yet.

The transport vehicle carrying him to the temporary holding facility in the eastern district was hit by an explosion. Nine officers injured. One dead.

The man who had taken the entire city's police force, months of ambushes, and a half-year hunt to finally capture—had slipped away before he ever saw the inside of a prison gate.

The scorched debris hadn't even been cleared. I stood there, staring at the blackened cracks in the asphalt.

Worse still—

According to my colleagues' analysis, I—the undercover agent who had spent two whole years by his side—had not only tricked him emotionally but had also driven the final knife in at the most critical moment.

With a man as vengeful as Adrian Vance...

I was definitely at the top of his hit list.

---

2

"Officer Shaw, you don't look too happy."

…Who could smile when their first-class citation had just run away?

Twenty-seven hours after Adrian's escape, the police deployed fifteen drones, sent out nearly every K-9 unit, and locked down the entire area for a grid search. Not a trace of him.

That man had escaped with such audacity that before leaving, he'd used the blood of the transport officer to scrawl a few words on the ground:

*I'll recapture my rose.*

Who exactly this "rose" referred to…

Everyone in the conference room turned their heads in unison to look at me.

"Even if you all stare at me like that," I said, crossing my arms with a shrug, "it only proves that Adrian Vance is a hopeless romantic."

Otherwise, why, when I was already slapping the cuffs on him, would he still ask such a stupid question as "Did you ever love me?"

Of course I didn't. Work was already annoying enough.

---

3

In the police car, my colleague Marcus Wells handed me a tablet with some information.

"We found that after his escape, Adrian used a payphone here."

I looked down at the photo on the screen.

"Yeah. That's the place we used to live together."

After we confirmed our relationship, I did live with Adrian in that house for quite a while.

Pushing open the door, the pair of couple slippers by the entrance looked like nothing had changed.

But the ashtray on the coffee table still held fresh cigarette ash.

"The test results on the cigarette butt are back. It's definitely Adrian's," Marcus said as he followed me into the bedroom, letting out a cold laugh. "Bold move. Hiding back here just hours after escaping. Playing reverse psychology, huh?"

Several officers were photographing and gathering evidence in the room, but my mind wandered.

This was the first home Adrian and I shared. It was also the first drug lord I had ever gotten close to as an undercover agent.

---

4

Right out of the police academy, after inheriting my father's badge number, I was assigned to get close to Adrian Vance as an undercover operative.

The reason was simple: I looked like a student, had the most innocent eyes, but was the toughest in my graduating class.

Back then, Adrian hadn't yet become the head of the largest drug trafficking organization in the western region. He was just a minor boss with little influence. But he was too young, and that caught our attention.

If we wanted to take them all down in one fell swoop, the best way was to slowly lay the groundwork.

I posed as a cashier at a small convenience store beneath his apartment building.

Every night around eleven, he'd come down to buy a pack of cigarettes.

He had sharp, striking features and wore a black windbreaker. The first time I saw him, I was a bit surprised. He was a young, somewhat infamous drug dealer, yet he had a face so handsome it was hard to look away. His skin was almost coldly pale, his features carrying a hint of aloofness.

To avoid raising suspicion, I held out for nearly a month before speaking my first words to him. Something along the lines of—seeing him buy cigarettes every day, I suggested he smoke less.

He raised an eyebrow, swept a cold gaze over me, and gave a soft "mm" in response.

After that, I used the opportunity to chat with him a little every day.

Honestly, after all those days of talking, I felt like even a dead tree would've blossomed. But back then, Adrian Vance felt absolutely nothing for me.

Fortunately, my comrades gave me a hand.

It was a small-scale drug bust. It didn't damage the core of that massive organization, but it was enough to wipe out some of its minor limbs. The targets included Adrian's crew.

We deliberately let Adrian escape half-dead, just so I could "save" him in that pile of trash.

When I found him, he was covered in blood. His already pale skin, stained with crimson streaks, looked almost translucent.

Even in that state, he still hadn't let his guard down when he saw me.

I played my part perfectly—a terrified convenience store clerk. Then, after he told me not to take him to a hospital, I brought him to my place.

He stayed at my home for the next few days.

Everything was meticulously planned: the position of his bedroom, the towel that "accidentally" slipped when I came out of the bathroom, the unavoidable physical contact during bandaging.

I acted cheerful and lively, trying every way to make him smile. I shaped the curry rice into little bears. I tied the bandages into pretty butterfly knots.

But here we were, a man and a woman alone together, and the guy held out for nearly a month.

Countless nights, that man would just stare at me with those dark, unreadable eyes.

My captain had repeatedly told me to be patient, but many times, as I rested my chin on my hand watching him, I couldn't help wondering if I'd already been exposed.

Until one day, because of a rendezvous, I came home late for several days in a row.

That day, the lights in the house were off—unusual.

I came in, took off my shoes, and tentatively called his name a few times.

No answer. Just as I was fumbling for the living room light switch, the back of my neck was suddenly touched—lightly.

In an instant, I barely suppressed the urge to spin around and throw the person into a shoulder slam.

Adrian held me in the darkness from that position.

My body must have been stiff. Every breath he took landed on the shell of my ear. Being slowly controlled by a stranger made every cell in my body scream to fight back.

Actually, from the moment I set foot on this path, I knew I only had one goal.

In the darkness, I gradually relaxed my body.

His lips fell on the side of my neck—lingering, meticulous.

…

I had to play the naive woman, looking at him with the most childish, innocent eyes.

Even after we confirmed our relationship, Adrian still didn't talk much. He remained wary of me.

That wasn't enough, of course. Adrian didn't know what I'd done for him.

The things he liked, the things he didn't. His expressions when faced with different situations. The way he raised an eyebrow after eating a meal I made. Or the unconscious curl of his lips when I wore a certain dress.

I memorized all of it carefully, reviewing it in my mind every night before sleep.

Finally, he started to laugh when I got sauce on my mouth while eating noodles. He would gently ruffle my hair when I fell asleep alone on the sofa waiting for him to come home late at night.

He crouched in front of me, tilted his head, and asked why Good Girl wasn't asleep yet. That was when I knew—my first step had worked.

But that alone wasn't enough.

Adrian hadn't planned for me to be in his future. I was just a girlfriend he could break up with anytime. He wouldn't tell me where his deals took place, or what exactly he was selling.

But soon, my chance came.

I was targeted by Adrian's rival organization.

They kidnapped me the next day while I was on my way to the market for groceries.

Their goal was simple: since I was Adrian's lover, they wanted to use me to threaten him.

They tied me to a chair and filmed me. The man sitting across from me spilled everything about Adrian's past. Told me my intimate lover was actually a drug dealer. Told me how ruthless Adrian was—how he was a complete villain.

My mind raced. At that moment, I couldn't appear too calm, but I also couldn't fall apart completely.

I needed to shape myself into a woman who was resilient, decisive, and utterly devoted to Adrian.

Eleven hours after my kidnapping, Adrian finally appeared at the factory where I was being held.

He was born to wear black. Later, I understood—he was himself a demon steeped in sin.

Bound hand and foot, I looked at him with tearful eyes. But my intimate lover of just days ago only cast me a brief, indifferent glance.

"Terms."

His voice was clear, carrying little emotion.

"Your three suppliers. Fifty kilos of the new product."

The gun barrel pressed against the back of my head tightened.

After a long pause, Adrian let out a cold laugh.

"You think she's worth that?"

With a look of utter disdain and contempt, the man gave me one last glance, then turned and walked away.

I stared at his tall, thin figure as it nearly melted into the night.

That day, my life was supposed to end there.

But who would've guessed—the gun barrel pressed against my head shifted toward Adrian's back.

"Watch out!!!"

The moment the man fired, I had already knocked him over. But because I'd lunged in desperation, the bullet embedded itself deep into my arm.

I'd been shot before, long ago, but back then I was wearing a bulletproof vest.

The searing pain blanked my mind for a second. By the time I came to, the man beside me had already been riddled with bullets.

Of course. Adrian wouldn't have come alone. He had plenty of firepower hidden behind him.

The man walked up to me. The pain on my face wasn't an act.

When I saw him, I rushed over and hugged him, crying.

He was clearly stunned for a moment by my embrace.

After a while, I felt his hand gently ruffle my hair.

"Why? I abandoned you, and you still saved me, hmm?"

What I was thinking was: that man's bullet wouldn't have even left the chamber before your hidden firepower turned him into Swiss cheese.

What I said was…

"Instinct… I just wanted to protect you."

In the darkness, I heard his voice soften.

"You don't mind what I do?"

I shook my head.

What I was thinking was:

Adrian Vance, one day,

I'll turn you into the brightest medal pinned to my shoulder.

---

5

"What are you thinking about?"

A hand holding a cigarette pulled me back to reality.

It had been a long time since I smelled cigarette smoke. For a moment, I felt dazed.

A lot of my colleagues liked to smoke when they were thinking.

But Adrian didn't smoke.

And to play the part of a good girl, I couldn't smoke in front of him either.

"Once you get that first-class merit, you'll be moving to a desk job, right?"

Marcus and I were sitting together on the stairwell landing. He rubbed his messy hair as he flipped through the report in his hand and asked me.

I nodded.

People like us—no matter how things end—eventually fade into the dust like a grain of sand.

"What do you want to do after retiring?"

"English teacher."

The words slipped out. He raised an eyebrow.

"I think I have a bit of a talent for teaching…"

…

Adrian never went to school.

So I was the one who taught him English.

Maybe I really do have a knack for teaching. Maybe he's just naturally smart.

The guy who used to say "You is my" can now taunt the police with a complete English sentence.

Yes. I believe everything Adrian is doing is a declaration of war against the police. And it's also a way to force me out.

He's bold enough to go back to the place we once lived together and leave traces of his stay.

He's telling me: he'll find me. No matter how many officers are protecting me, I won't get away.

…

"So I don't think keeping me holed up here under guard is the best solution."

In the budget motel room, I crossed my arms and said to Marcus, who was leaning against my door.

"If Adrian wants to find me, you should let me out."

He sighed.

"What kind of talk is that? Every life matters. Until the very last moment, at least none of us wants to see a single comrade fall."

When I didn't answer, he stood up and patted my shoulder.

"Xiao Jiang, you can't possibly not know how those deranged drug dealers retaliate against undercovers."

…

The sunlight outside the window was strong, filtering through the blackout curtains.

That beam of light wavered.

Yeah. How could I not know?

My father was the captain of the Changming City Anti-Drug Brigade. An overseas drug lord put a one-million-dollar bounty on his head.

When I followed my uncle to find his body, I hadn't even graduated from the police academy yet.

Should I thank him for giving his daughter one last lesson?

Because I've never seen a more gruesome corpse than his.

So after that, no matter what scene I faced, my heart wouldn't waver anymore.

My father always told me that it's very hard for an anti-drug officer to receive a first-class merit citation while still alive.

So I wanted to earn one while I was still breathing—to show him up in heaven.

…

Day three of Adrian's escape.

The department's profiler came to see me again, asking for every detail about Adrian's criminal activities.

There was no helping it. I was the one who had been closest to him. Every bit of my experience was valuable.

After I took that bullet for Adrian, he slowly started showing me his true face.

During that time, I began to realize that he was actually a man starved for love.

This was perfect for me. Adrian had barely touched women in his life. He grew up without parents.

He was raised by human traffickers. Because he was sweet-tongued and clever, he escaped having his tongue cut out or his legs broken to beg on the streets.

Most of his childhood was probably filled with cruelty and pain. I doubt even he knew how desperately he craved a gentle, kind soul to love him.

As a criminal, Adrian had talent. He was decisive, calm, paranoid, and ruthless.

But as a lover—he was an absolute fool.

He was far too easy to drown in a pool of tenderness. He couldn't wait to please the person he liked, trying to act indifferent while every thought was written all over his micro-expressions.

So even though I was only a half-baked amateur in matters of love, based on the psychology I'd learned at the academy, I managed to handle him—stumbling along the way.

The final step was to plant a steel needle in his heart that he could never pull out.

If there's anything more profound than a love that lasts forever—

It's a love that lasts forever, and then suddenly vanishes.

As Adrian climbed higher, women naturally started circling around him.

Even knowing I was "the missus," plenty of butterflies still came fluttering in.

The most prominent one was "Cassandra."

Cassandra was probably a stage name. She was strikingly beautiful, a completely different style from me. She was like a silver needle, coated in poison and dazzling.

She had her sights set on Adrian too. She wanted to replace me as the missus.

On the surface, she was the owner of a local chain of bars. In reality, she was the biggest drug dealer in that district.

If she really managed to seduce Adrian, it would be a union of powerhouses—and I'd be out of the picture.

She never took me seriously. She thought I was just some schoolgirl she could easily knock down.

And at that time, Adrian and I were in a stagnant phase of our relationship.

He was still good to me. You could even say we were still in the honeymoon phase. But he never explicitly rejected Cassandra.

That was when I thought: Perfect.

The leading lady, the leading man, the third wheel.

A grand drama. If I played it well, I could make him remember me for the rest of his life.

…It was a yacht gala.

On the surface, it was the annual party of a shell company. In reality, it was a gathering of drug dealers.

We had our own people hidden on the yacht too. Undercurrents were flowing everywhere. I attended as Adrian's lover.

But Cassandra kept stirring up trouble.

First, she humiliated me at the banquet. Then she brazenly flirted with Adrian right in front of me.

Adrian didn't refuse her.

At that point, I knew something was wrong.

Even if Adrian had really changed his heart that fast, I was still publicly known as his woman.

That night, after I finished showering and walked into his room, he grabbed my wrist and pinned me against the doorframe.

"Good girl. Swear to me. You've never lied to me."

In that moment, my heart sank halfway.

I had already pictured my triumphant return home in my mind. Whether I'd even make it back in one piece was another question.

But he was asking me to swear.

Swear.

That meant he had no proof. It was very likely that Cassandra had been whispering in his ear, planting seeds of doubt that I was an undercover agent.

He himself wasn't sure.

I couldn't act too eager. But I couldn't be completely calm either.

"I've never lied to you."

I repeated his vow back to him.

He let go of my wrist.

"Adrian, I—"

I tried to take his hand. He shook me off.

"I never lied to you…"

My voice trembled.

"Go back to your room, sweetheart."

His tone softened, but his words left no room for argument.

I didn't leave. I reached for his fingers again. He pushed me away. I just stared at him, stunned.

"Cassandra's right. Maybe you really are a very good actress."

In the darkness, the man's pitch-black eyes stared straight at me.

I looked back at him in disbelief.

"You'd rather believe her than me?"

…

All he left me with was the door slamming shut in my face.

The tears that had been streaming down my face stopped abruptly the next second.

Adrian still had some instincts. I didn't really think it was Cassandra who changed his mind. It was his天生的 sixth sense.

This kind of thing—no matter how perfectly I played my part—could still expose me.

Once the seed of suspicion is planted, no one knows when it will grow into a towering tree.

So I needed a drastic measure.

Thank goodness for Cassandra. She had already built the perfect stage for me.

---

6

I had always told Adrian that I was afraid of water.

In truth, I was a gold medalist on my high school swim team.

I never thought a seed planted so long ago would come in handy now.

There was another undercover officer on the yacht, disguised as a crew member.

He told me that the edge of the uppermost deck was within full view of the security cameras.

And according to the yacht's route, there was a small island nine hundred meters away.

The sea breeze was light that night.

Around two or three in the morning, the deck was nearly empty.

I stood at the spot I had planned earlier, adjusting myself to the best angle for the cameras.

The sea breeze lifted the hem of my white dress. I typed a message and sent it to Adrian.

"I know I'm not as smart as her. I don't have her abilities. But this way…"

"Will it prove that I've never lied to you?"

I plunged into the sea.

…

The act of proving one's innocence and love through death—it could be magnified infinitely in a person starved for affection.

That night, how I managed to navigate toward that small island with nothing but a compass and a glowing sports watch…

How I collapsed on the beach, waiting for my colleague's pickup, nearly getting pecked to death by some unknown bird that mistook me for a corpse…

Let's skip that. That experience alone could fill a novel with its perils.

In the end, my colleague picked me up in a rubber boat and hid me on a fishing village island in the opposite direction for a while.

During that time, I vaguely learned that Adrian was searching for me like a madman.

Even though the surveillance footage clearly showed how "I," who couldn't swim, had jumped into the sea to prove my innocence to him, he still refused to believe I was dead.

No one had ever seen him panic like that. He mobilized countless fishing boats to search for me.

I had sustained quite a few injuries from my ordeal at sea, so I took my time recovering.

The day he found me, I was sitting on a little stool in the fisherman's house, my braid hanging to one side, my head lowered as I watched the reflection of the sunset.

I had calculated it. From his angle, my profile would look heartbreakingly beautiful and devastating.

After everything I had sacrificed, the result was naturally good. He practically stumbled toward me, then held me so tightly.

Men are all the same.

They love women who give everything for them and never ask for anything in return.

I felt like Adrian was trying to press me into his body.

I opened my mouth, using my soft, slightly hoarse voice to whisper to him.

"Adrian, you could have given up on me."

"I'm fine."

"If you like her, then just let me go."

"Just…"

"Just tell me yourself that you don't want me anymore…"

I felt his body stiffen.

His fingers gently threaded through my hair. Unlike last time, Adrian was moved.

He couldn't leave me now.

I rested my chin in the hollow of his neck.

If jumping into the sea had been a gamble, then now—

I had won.

---

7

"Where do you think Adrian will go after his escape?"

"He's a madman. How am I supposed to understand a madman's thoughts?"

In the office, the fan whirred noisily.

Light filtered through the blinds, but the officers in the room were nearly at their wits' end.

No leads. No movement. He had vanished into thin air.

Yet everyone knew with absolute certainty that he would reappear. He was never one to let things go.

"Is Xiao Jiang's family taken care of?"

"As a now-exposed undercover, we can't rule out the possibility that Adrian might take revenge on anyone related to her."

Marcus rearranged the files, pinched the bridge of his nose, and turned his gaze to me.

Yes. After all, Adrian already knew my identity.

So my family was under tight police protection.

Barring any accidents…

But my right eyelid had been twitching all day.

I wasn't someone who believed in that kind of thing, but a lot of the older folks in the department did.

For example, before making a major decision, they'd eat something they liked first to see if their taste had changed. They called it "reading the signs."

And this morning, my breakfast had been utterly tasteless.

I sat in my seat, eyes downcast. I had already finished this mission and was about to move to a desk job. I had even planned where to go on my annual leave. But it seemed like fate wanted to play a joke on me.

The conference room door was pushed open hurriedly by an officer.

When his panicked gaze landed on me, my heart lurched.

"Officer Shaw, something's happened to your nephew."

…

"He was found this morning at nine, at the East Huai Road market intersection."

I sat in the car, dazed, listening to the officer's report.

"There are needle marks on his upper arm, wrist, and upper thigh. Preliminary tests indicate a single session of repeated high-dose heroin injection."

"He's been taken to First People's Hospital. He's in surgery."

…

Adrian's revenge… had arrived.

I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

My mind was buzzing. I told myself to calm down. Calm down. I wanted to ask—what I wanted to ask was…

"Wasn't there a dedicated protection detail? How did this happen?"

Marcus asked the question for me.

"The kid is a senior in high school. College entrance exams are coming up."

"His mother said they couldn't afford to delay his studies any longer. So they only arranged for officers to escort him to and from school."

"No one expected this…"

…

I remembered that I had promised that little brat Leo Xia that if he got into a top-tier university, I'd buy him the latest top-of-the-line computer.

But now, he was in the operating room, and I was outside it.

My cousin's cries kept pounding against my eardrums.

In my hand, I clutched an evidence bag containing a note.

It had been found in Leo's pocket. A message left by Adrian.

Adrian's handwriting wasn't pretty, but it carried his unique, stubborn sharpness.

It read:

*"You are not allowed to stop loving me."*

---

8

"Don't you people get it yet?!"

In the hospital courtyard, it was the first time in days that I had cursed at Marcus.

"Adrian's target is clear. It's me. As long as I don't show up, as long as he's not caught, his revenge will continue!"

"So why won't you let me go out and lure him out?"

Marcus didn't answer. The ground around his feet was littered with cigarette butts.

"My nephew was just wheeled out of the operating room."

I always thought I was calm enough. But at this moment, my voice was still trembling.

"His mother cried so hard. She never blamed me."

"She said she could blame a lot of people, but not me."

"So what am I supposed to do?! Her son ended up like this because of me!"

"I could die. I could give my life to her son, and it still wouldn't be enough…"

Don't people always need a breaking point to vent?

Had I been holding it in for too long?

After a long moment, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You've been through a lot, Xiao Jiang."

Marcus gave a bitter smile and patted my shoulder.

After working together for so long, that one gesture was enough for me to understand.

It was time to go all in.

…

The reason Adrian had managed to escape was, at its core, an intelligence failure on our part.

We had miscalculated his firepower and the remnants of his network still lurking in the shadows.

There had to be something we hadn't fully rooted out. Some underground thread we had overlooked.

The plan now was simple. Since Adrian was so fixated on me,

I would be the one to draw him out.

But before we could even set the plan in motion, he came to us first.

At three in the morning, the department received an anonymous email.

It demanded that I—bound hand and foot, blindfolded, and immobilized—be delivered to an abandoned factory in the eastern suburbs.

Otherwise, five bombs planted in the downtown CBD would be detonated.

…

That move sent our usually early-to-bed, early-to-rise old chief jumping straight out of his blankets.

An emergency meeting was called overnight.

I would indeed be delivered to Adrian's specified location, bound from head to toe.

But that area would be surrounded by nearly ten armored vehicles and a hundred officers.

Drones would patrol around the clock. Listening devices and signal trackers would be sewn into the lining of my clothes.

In short—if Adrian dared to show up,

he wouldn't be going back.

…

"Are you scared?"

When Marcus tied the black cloth over my eyes, the deployment was essentially complete.

Because Adrian had also demanded that no police be within a hundred-mile radius, the封锁圈 wouldn't be too close to me.

In other words, I would be alone, blindfolded, in a pitch-black factory, for who knows how long.

I shook my head. I've never been afraid of the dark since I was a child.

With my eyes covered, I felt Marcus gently smooth down my hair.

He was quite close to me. His voice was solemn as he whispered in my ear.

"Don't worry. I will bring Adrian Vance to justice."

"And when this is over, we'll go to that new buffet place in the north of the city. Have a good meal."

…

Nine forty-five in the evening.

Time always drags in the dark, especially when your hands and feet are tied.

To be honest, aside from the physical ache, the hardest part was staying alert.

The knots they tied on me were actually slipknots disguised as tight ones. If necessary, I hoped I could contribute a little to the capture.

But minute after minute passed. Still nothing.

It made me think back to the first time—when I was tied up like this, waiting for him.

…What if he saw the crowd and didn't dare to come?

…What if he was just messing with us?

Before this, we had imagined all the ways Adrian might try to take me.

But we never imagined it would be like this—

A direct, brutal assault.

…

The first bomb went off in the eastern forest.

The blast nearly deafened me.

Then, the sound of gunfire and shouting came from the distance.

This guy never intended to sneak me out. This was pure thuggery.

Maybe even…

This wasn't the firepower a fugitive should have.

The moment I realized that, I immediately started working on the knots around my wrists.

But it was too late.

I heard a *hiss*, but I still couldn't free my hands from the rope in time.

Choking gas filled my nostrils. I tried to grab onto something,

but my consciousness slowly faded.

As I fell, the blindfold slipped off.

Through blurry vision, I saw a pair of leather shoes appear in front of me.

My last thought was:

I was wrong.

This wasn't the arsenal of a drug dealer.

He had still kept things from me.

He was even more terrifying than I had imagined.

---

9

I stared at the slightly damp ceiling.

Fine rain fell onto the windowsill, as if this were just an ordinary autumn evening.

An old TV was playing in the next room. I lay in bed.

Nothing was restraining me, but I still couldn't move.

The drugs hadn't worn off yet.

My clothes had been changed. The listening devices and trackers were definitely gone.

I moved my eyes, but my eyelids felt unbearably heavy.

…

Twenty minutes after I woke up in this room, someone walked over to the bed.

"Long time no see."

The man still suited black. He stood like a solitary pine in a snowstorm.

Adrian Vance.

It had been a long time.

Last time I saw you, I was putting handcuffs on you.

"Good girl."

I couldn't move. I let him do as he pleased.

And when I saw the slightly pleased expression on his face, I should have known what happens when you anger a drug dealer.

The needle pressed against my upper arm. I watched as he slowly injected the liquid into my body.

This was the first time.

When he was done, he gently smoothed my hair and kissed the corner of my mouth.

"Good girl, you're not being good at all."

---

10

This was my first conversation with Adrian after I regained the ability to speak.

"What did you inject me with?"

"Heroin."

"Don't worry. It's a very small dose."

"…"

"How many of my comrades died?"

"No. The heavier casualties were on my side."

"…"

"How many guns do you still have? How much drugs? You're wanted. Can you still supply anyone?"

He laughed.

"Good girl, do you think I'll still tell you everything like before?"

His knuckles pressed against my cheek.

The man was very close. I could smell the scent of pine and snow.

"My dear police officer."

"Is falling in love with you my misfortune, or yours?"

…

My movements were confined to this room.

Looking out the window, I could see lush trees and the walls of an old residential complex.

Shouting for help was impossible. If Adrian could live here so brazenly,

then it was very likely that this entire building—even the whole neighborhood—was part of a drug manufacturing and trafficking network.

There was still something I had missed. Something that had become his trump card for a desperate comeback.

…

The man came back to this room every night.

And every time, he brought me something he thought would please me.

But he didn't know that all my previous preferences had been created to cater to him.

The second time he injected me with that needle, I almost wanted to kill myself.

But I ended up rushing into the bathroom and throwing up until the world went dark.

I grabbed the sink and looked at the reflection in the mirror.

Bloodshot eyes. Pale skin. Trembling lips.

I wouldn't die.

Even if I had to crawl.

Even if I had to live in disgrace.

I wouldn't die.

…

The intervals between injections started to shorten. And I knew exactly what he was trying to do to me.

One night, as I writhed in agony on the bed, the man pushed open the door.

"Do you want this?"

He leaned down, looking at me from above.

"Beg me."

In his hand was the thing I had once fled from like a monster.

Now, it was my salvation.

I knew that once that thing pierced my arm, all my pain would disappear. I stared at him intently.

I told myself again.

I had to live. I couldn't die.

Seeing me nod, the man finally smiled with satisfaction.

He pressed me down on the bed, kissing me from the corner of my eye to my collarbone.

He was satisfied.

He knew that from now on, I would never be able to leave him.

---

11

Adrian got fake IDs from somewhere.

Two little red books. With stamps. With photos.

Marriage certificates. His and mine.

He held me in his arms, then laughed to himself first.

"You would probably never agree to marry me."

"So it's fine. I went ahead and got them for both of us."

My gaze shifted to the glass, where our reflections stared back.

Sometimes I thought—maybe I should just let it go. Just drift through life in a haze.

Sometimes I thought about using death to get back at him. If I died, he would probably suffer for a while too.

But I couldn't.

I wasn't that weak.

…

Adrian held me every night when we slept.

He probably never expected me to be so surprisingly compliant.

He started letting me move around a bit more freely.

That day, it was raining heavily.

He held an umbrella and walked me out. When I went down the stairs, I lost my balance and fell hard.

He picked me up and held me for a long time.

He said "I'm sorry" countless times.

He knew he was the one who had made me like this.

But if he wanted to control me, he had no choice.

…

Maybe I was too obedient. Adrian didn't really lock me up.

But he was still extremely vigilant about any way I could contact the outside world.

That day, I went with him to a small street stall for breakfast.

The cold weather had come early this year. I shrunk my neck.

This stall… was probably connected to Adrian too.

I ate a couple of bites of noodles and couldn't finish. I pushed my bowl over to him.

He sighed and reached out to ruffle my hair.

"At least eat the fried egg."

"I don't like it."

I dodged his hand.

"You used to love it."

"I was lying to you."

"…"

He didn't seem to mind. He finished my leftover noodles.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and watched the smoke rising from the pot, drifting into the cold morning mist.

…

Adrian tried every way to make me happy.

He brought home a video game disc.

It was a popular two-player game.

It required two players to cooperate and clear levels. But every time it was my turn, I kept failing.

"So Officer Shaw has things she's not good at too."

The man beside me softened his eyes, like pine snow suddenly melting.

I turned my face away, not looking at him. I tossed the controller aside.

"I can't keep trying to please you forever."

"…"

He put his controller down too. He cupped my face and pressed me back against his sofa.

I saw myself reflected in his dark pupils—a wandering, insubstantial ghost.

His lips landed on my brow.

"Let's just go on like this. Together."

…

Adrian always liked to hold me when he slept.

It wasn't really a scientific way to sleep.

And honestly, after holding me for a while, his arm would go numb.

I listened to the steady breathing of the man beside me. Then, slowly, my hand crept under his pillow.

Then I straddled him, pressing the barrel of the gun he kept under his pillow against his forehead.

I pulled the trigger.

…Nothing happened.

"No bullets."

"You couldn't feel that, could you?"

In the darkness, the man opened his eyes and stared straight at me.

His fingers traced the muzzle of the gun.

…I slowly lowered my hand.

As a frontline anti-drug officer, I should know by the weight alone whether a gun is loaded.

But I didn't know.

I really couldn't feel it anymore.

---

12

My movements were now confined to that small courtyard.

Impressive.

The