Eighteen Years of Regret

I was reborn as Blanche, and I was determined to make sure Everett would never have me.

Eighteen years later, when Everett, now draped in a dragon robe, met me again, his eyes were red-rimmed.

I stepped aside. "Your Majesty should address me as Lady Vance."

1

The moment I crossed over, the original Blanche had already clapped hands twice with her father, Lord Ashford.

Beside her stood a man in tattered clothes, silently watching her sever ties with her family.

He looked the picture of a simple, honest man.

Just as the third clap was about to fall, I feigned a faint.

Everett tried to take me away, but my mother pushed him aside. "Blanche is in this state! Are you trying to drive her to her death?"

I kept my eyes shut, letting the maids carry me back to my tower, where they forced water and medicine down my throat.

Through the haze, I heard my parents arguing. My mother insisted that since the third clap hadn't landed, it didn't count. I was still a daughter of the Ashford family.

After a while, I coughed softly and slowly opened my eyes, letting them fill with sorrow. "Father, Mother."

"Don't call me Father!"

I struggled out of bed and knelt heavily before them, tears streaming down my face like pearls from a broken string.

"Father and I agreed on three claps. The first two were to show Everett my feelings, but the third I could never bring myself to deliver."

"The grace of my parents' upbringing is higher than the heavens. How could Blanche be so unfilial?"

"Your daughter was foolish, blinded by romantic love. I beg you, Father and Mother, punish me severely!"

My parents hurriedly lifted me up, tears of gratitude streaming down their aged faces.

2

I was once again the legitimate third miss of the Ashford mansion, living in luxury, cherished like a pearl in the palm.

Lily looked worried. "Miss, Master Everett is very concerned. What should we do now?"

"What else? I'm too heartbroken and bedridden to see him."

I picked a gold butterfly hairpin and tucked it into my hair, admiring myself in the bronze mirror. Living well in the mansion had given my skin a rosy glow.

Lily seemed unable to process my reaction. She stammered, "Miss, didn't you say you'd marry no one but Master Everett?"

"That was in the past." I smiled brightly at her. "I'm your mistress. Just do as I say."

Everett waited outside the Ashford mansion, day after day, as the sun rose and set.

I made my stance clear to my parents: I would never marry Everett. I also had the news sealed within the mansion.

Lily sneaked out.

"Master Everett, miss was unconscious for a day and a night. The first thing she did when she woke was send me to tell you not to worry."

Everett stamped his foot in agitation. "She was unconscious for so long. How can I not worry?"

When Lily reported back, I burst out laughing.

Three days later, Lily went to see Everett again.

"After miss woke up, she knelt and begged the master and mistress to approve your marriage. The master flew into a rage and locked her in the woodshed..."

"What? How is Blanche now?"

"Miss is fasting in protest. She said, 'I'd rather die than betray you.'"

Everett crouched down, clutching his head and sobbing. "It's my fault. I've failed Blanche!"

I remained unmoved after hearing this.

But Lily's heart softened. "Master Everett is truly pitiful."

I glanced at her. "Do you want to go keep him company?"

"Your servant wouldn't dare!" She knelt in panic. "The servants have driven him away several times, but he refuses to leave. He says if miss is suffering in the mansion, he'll suffer outside."

After observing her these past days, I found Lily to be kind-hearted, but deeply influenced by her former mistress. I needed to re-educate her.

"Lily, tell me—if I were truly locked in the woodshed, would his waiting outside do any good?"

Lily shook her head.

"He waits because he can do nothing else. He can give me nothing. So he uses this cheapest method to move me."

Lily was silent.

"I could live like a noble lady. But he's willing to watch me sever ties with my parents for him. Is that love? No, it's selfishness."

"Because with his circumstances, he'll never find a girl prettier or better than me."

3

In the original story, Blanche, for a man of unknown origins, severed ties with her parents and waited eighteen years in a cold cave.

If she had been waiting for a worthy man, it might have been bearable. But what was she waiting for?

Everett—a textbook scoundrel.

It's hard to imagine how such a twisted story became a celebrated tale passed down through the ages.

Since I was here, I would personally destroy this "celebrated tale."

Everett waited outside for over ten days. Lily occasionally passed him news, but he never saw me. His daily visits dwindled from seven or eight hours to two or three.

Eventually, he stopped coming altogether.

"See? He couldn't even wait ten days." I said to Lily. "Did he leave any message before he left?"

"Master Everett said he would find a way to earn money, to earn the respect of the master and mistress. He said he'd give miss a good life."

"Really?"

I looked down at the flawless jade bracelet on my wrist, priceless.

Eighteen years later, Everett would become the King of Xiliang, reclaim his heritage, and inherit the Li dynasty.

To be safe, I couldn't offend him.

I would make him give up on me willingly, burdened with guilt.

The cruelest way to revenge a man is to become the one he can never have.

I secretly went to the cold cave. Before leaving, I removed all my jewelry and dressed in plain clothes to blend in.

The neighbors said Everett had been running around looking for work.

When he returned, I was standing frail in the wind, coughing lightly like a willow swaying in the breeze.

"Blanche, why are you here?" He was overjoyed.

I gazed at him with tender affection, hesitating to speak, choking on my words.

"Everett, I can't live another day without you."

He pulled me into his arms, his eyes shining with the joy of recovery. "We'll never be apart."

I rested my head on his shoulder, coughing delicately.

Lily said, "Miss fasted for days to force the master and mistress to agree. She came out to see you as soon as she could, and she's still not fully recovered."

Everett quickly took off his coat and wrapped it around me. "Go inside. There's a draft."

4

The cold cave was dark, airless, and smelled unpleasant.

I couldn't help but sneeze.

Thinking of how Blanche spent eighteen years here, I wanted to call her a fool.

"Miss, the doctor said you can't stop your medicine, or it'll leave lasting damage."

Lily had learned well. I was pleased.

"What medicine?" Everett helped me sit down.

I dabbed my mouth with a handkerchief. "Just some tonics for blood and energy. Don't worry, Everett. I'll be fine without them."

"How can that be? Your health is most important." Everett vowed, "Give me the prescription. I'll get the medicine."

Everett found a scrap of paper and took the prescription I'd written.

I'd listed astragalus, wolfberries, and dangshen—none of them cheap.

Lily brought out a powder box, and I applied it to my face to look pale and sickly.

When Everett returned with the medicine, his expression wasn't good.

He tried to act calm, but Lily innocently remarked, "Oh, this will only last two doses. The doctor said miss needs at least three months of treatment."

Everett's composure nearly cracked, but he forced a smile. "Don't worry. I'll buy more when this runs out."

At night, I slept on the bed while Everett made a pallet on the floor, separated by a tattered bamboo screen.

I told Everett I wanted to wait until I was better, to bow before the red candles and marry him properly before sharing a bed.

Everett agreed. "Blanche is a proper lady. The rituals must be observed."

He used to be a beggar. Now he worked unloading cargo at the docks, earning three coppers a day.

But my medicine cost at least five coppers a day, not to mention food and other expenses. Everett's meager savings quickly ran out.

At night, he tossed and turned on his straw mat.

Through the screen, I asked gently, "Everett, what's wrong?"

After a long pause, he spoke. "Did you bring anything when you left home?"

"Huh?" I pretended not to understand.

"You know... jewelry. You're a noble lady. I thought you might have some on you."

I stayed silent for a long time.

"Blanche?"

Finally, my voice came through, pitiful and weak. "Everett, do you think I just walked out of the mansion?"

"Mother was afraid I'd starve myself to death. She softened and let me dress as a servant to sneak out."

"Oh." He sighed deeply. "So that's how it is."

Everett's medicine supplies grew smaller and lower in quality.

He looked at my frail, helpless form and frowned. "Is this medicine even working? All medicine is poison. Maybe we should take a break?"

Lily spoke for me. "The doctor said it takes three months to see results!"

Everett shot her a look of mild disgust.

Later, he spoke to me privately. "Blanche, I'm working hard to support us. I can take care of you, but three people is a bit much..."

"You want to send Lily away? She's been with me since childhood."

"Of course not!" He forced a smile. "I mean, the neighbor aunt found Lily a job washing dishes at the inn..."

"Then who will boil my medicine? Who will cook?"

"You can learn these things. You can't expect to be waited on hand and foot forever..."

5

But I could have been waited on hand and foot forever.

You dragged me into this dark, suffocating cave and made me live your life.

And you did it all under the guise of love.

Making a servant work to support her mistress—what a brilliant idea.

The night was thick as ink. I cleared my throat. "Lily has never washed dishes. If she breaks something, it'll cost more than she earns."

He was silent for a long time. Was he angry?

I didn't want him to resent me yet.

So I suggested, "There are wild vegetables on the mountain. Lily and I can pick them tomorrow. It'll save us money on food."

"Good, good." Everett agreed eagerly. "I'm sorry you have to do this. When I make money, I'll give you a good life."

"Mm-hmm."

The next day, I took Lily up the mountain to pick wild vegetables.

It was fun, like a farm-to-table experience. Organic, green, with a unique flavor.

But I only lasted two days.

My back ached, my hands hurt, and I craved meat.

Under the scorching sun, I collapsed from exhaustion.

When I woke up, Doctor Chen had just finished taking my pulse.

Everett looked guilty. "Blanche, it's my fault. You haven't recovered. I shouldn't have let you go out."

Lily rolled her eyes behind him.

Doctor Chen said, "This young lady is of noble birth. She can't do such labor. Add to that poor nutrition and weak blood. If not properly treated, it could leave lasting damage and affect her ability to bear children!"

Everett panicked visibly and begged the doctor to cure me.

Doctor Chen prescribed a long list of expensive herbs—ginseng, donkey-hide gelatin, longan, astragalus, atractylodes. Everett couldn't afford them.

My health deteriorated day by day. My face was pale, my legs weak, and I couldn't care for myself.

A third of it was real hunger; the rest was an act.

Everett brought me bland wild vegetable soup and urged me to drink more.

I'd had enough. I fainted again.

"Miss!"

Lily's scream nearly startled me awake. Her acting was even better than mine. She threw herself over me, wailing.

I kept my eyes shut.

I drifted off to sleep.

I woke to the sound of crying. Lily was sobbing heart-wrenchingly, as if I were dead.

Everett held my hand, tears streaming. "Blanche, it's my fault. That quack doctor just wants to cheat us out of our money!"

I spoke weakly, "Everett, it's my fault. I shouldn't have fasted to fight my family."

Lily chimed in, "Miss, you fasted for Master Everett. How can you blame yourself?"

I turned away, coughing into my handkerchief.

6

The man Blanche had chosen wasn't entirely useless.

To afford my medicine, he worked two jobs from dawn to dusk. He lost weight, his stubble grew, and he looked decades older than his age.

After days of this, with no improvement in my health, he was nearing his breaking point.

I dabbed my eyes with a handkerchief. "What use is this broken body? I can't carry or lift anything. I can't share your burdens. I just drink expensive concoctions. Let me die."

Everett tried to comfort me at first, but eventually, he just fell silent.

After several hesitant attempts, he finally spoke. "Blanche, I want to spend my life with you. But I can't watch you..."

He couldn't finish.

I finished for him.

"You know what it means to send me back?"

"It means my parents will watch me even more closely. It'll be harder to see you."

"I don't want to leave you. I'd rather die."

My voice cracked with tears, but my gaze was firm.

Everett pressed his lips together tightly and punched the cave wall. He was silent for a long time.

This was probably the most sorrowful moment for a man—loving someone deeply but unable to keep her.

Maybe I should have softened.

But thinking of how he made Blanche wait eighteen years, I hardened my heart.

In the end, he sent me back.

As I stepped through the gates of the Ashford mansion, I looked back every few steps, like the White Lady being sealed in Leifeng Pagoda, bidding farewell to Xu Xian.

It was a picture of deep love and reluctant parting.

The vermilion gates slowly closed.

Before we parted, he said, "Blanche, I'll wait for you. Wait until you're better..."

But do you know?

No one waits forever.

Everett's figure finally disappeared.

I lifted my skirts and walked briskly, instructing Lily.

I no longer looked like someone at death's door.

"Tell the kitchen to bring the best dishes—braised ribs, sweet-and-sour fish, braised pork knuckle, osmanthus cake, lotus root stuffed with glutinous rice... Heat water for a bath. I stink!"

Being a noble lady was so much better.

Doctor Chen had been arranged in advance. I sent him a thank-you gift.

As for my parents, I'd already smoothed things over.

The next time I heard from Everett was over a month later.

7

I was feeding koi fish by the pond when Lily handed me a letter from Everett.

"Blanche, I don't want to live a life of mediocrity, unable to protect the woman I love. I'm going to join the army and earn merit. Wait for me.—Everett."

I crumpled the letter and tossed it into the pond.

The paper slowly unfurled in the water, the ink bleeding until the words were illegible.

The koi gathered at my feet, wagging their tails as they fought for the fish food I'd just scattered.

"I never saw this letter. Neither did you," I said.

"Miss, are you cutting ties with Master Everett for good?"

I gazed into the distance.

The trees were centuries-old, the flowers rare and exotic. Even this pond was several times larger than Everett's cold cave.

"Lily, do you know?"

I touched the purple jade bracelet on my wrist and sighed softly.

"I never hated Everett for being poor."

What I hated most was a man who claimed he'd love you forever but could give you neither money nor love.

Did Everett really send me back because he was afraid I'd die?

No.

He had something priceless that he could have pawned.

He just didn't want to.

Or maybe he didn't want me that badly.

He had his calculations.

In the future, Everett would marry the Xiliang princess. After all, how many men could resist the temptations of power and beauty?

Would he remember me then?

I wasn't sure.

It didn't matter anymore.

Blanche would start a new life from now on.

8

The Ashford family had three daughters. The eldest, Rosalind, married Aldric. The second, Ophelia, married Victor.

Ophelia had always looked down on Everett, so she was cast as the villain in the original story.

But I also looked down on him. When Ophelia heard I'd come to my senses, she was overjoyed, and our sisterly bond was restored.

It seemed the lines between hero and villain weren't so clear-cut.

I became the family's darling. My parents wanted to keep things in the family and arranged for me to marry Victor's younger brother, Vance.

Vance coveted Blanche's beauty, but she had always scorned him. This made him hate Everett, and he was portrayed as a dissolute playboy.

But now I had questions.

Why was Everett's love for Blanche considered a grand romance?

Why was Vance's love for her just lust?

Both were men drawn to a woman's beauty. Whose love was nobler?

My disgust for Everett made me less harsh toward Vance.

But that didn't mean I wanted to marry him.

I made my refusal clear to my parents.

At my father's fiftieth birthday banquet, the young masters were dashing, and the young ladies were as vibrant as blooming flowers.

Rosalind pulled me aside for a private chat. Ophelia gave me a misty gauze dress, which I adored. I slipped back to my room to try it on.

The servants were all busy in the front courtyard. The back courtyard was silent, save for the chirping of cicadas.

I took off my outer robe and found the gauze dress had a dozen tangled ribbons I couldn't undo.

And Lily, my ever-reliable maid, was nowhere to be seen.

Just as I was getting flustered, the door opened.

A pair of black brocade boots stepped in.

"Vance?"

I guessed his identity.

He was tall and decent-looking. His gaze swept over me, and a smirk played on his lips.

"You're not as nervous as last time, miss. Interesting."

I'd been naive.

This one was worse than Everett.

I stepped back, and he stepped forward, cornering me against the bed.

9

"Why aren't you calling for help?" Vance raised an eyebrow.

He'd dared to barge into my boudoir, which meant he was prepared. He had inside help. Calling for help would be useless.

I said sternly, "My parents are probably discussing our marriage right now. Are you that impatient?"

"I heard you refused, miss. That makes me anxious."

He snatched away the robe I was using to cover myself, leaving me in my undergarments with bare arms.

I felt no shame, only anger.

Vance was a head taller than me, and men had the physical advantage.

If I struggled, it would only fuel his cruelty and desire to conquer.

I looked up at him with a coy, pleading expression. "If you ruin my reputation, how will I face the world?"

He was taken aback by my reaction, then delighted. He whispered in my ear, "Once the rice is cooked, I can marry you."

I draped my arm around his neck, a seductive smile on my lips. "You're so bad."

I let myself fall onto the bed, feigning weakness.

Blinded by lust, he had no reason left. I let out a few reluctant moans, and he threw caution to the wind.

I adjusted the pillow.

He leaned in, and I closed my eyes as if in surrender.

Then I opened them.

A piercing scream cut through the silence of the back courtyard, drowning out the cicadas.

Vance clutched himself, his eyes bloodshot with hatred.

Blood stained the bed—crimson and horrifying.

Mother had recently been teaching me the traditional art of embroidery. Yes, they called it needlework. I'd hidden the scissors under my pillow.

It was a good pair of scissors.

Steady and sharp.

I wiped the spit from my face, quickly got dressed, and fled in panic.

"Help! Someone, help!"

10

The sudden commotion forced my father's birthday banquet to a halt.

Mother and Rosalind shielded me as I sobbed uncontrollably.

Ophelia wouldn't even look at me. She kept muttering, "How did this happen?"

Father argued with Vance's father, Lord Vance Sr., their voices growing louder.

Vance wailed from the inner chamber, but he wouldn't die.

After a long while, the doctor emerged with his medicine box. He sighed at my father and Lord Vance Sr., then shook his head.

Lord Vance Sr. nearly grabbed the doctor by the collar. "What do you mean by shaking your head? Explain yourself!"

"Young Master Vance's prospects for heirs... I'm afraid..."

"Nonsense! He's not even married!" Lord Vance Sr. roared.

I burrowed deeper into Mother's arms, sobbing harder, my whole body trembling.

Ophelia's voice was flat. "Third sister, even if Young Master Vance harassed you, you didn't have to cripple him."

Rosalind shot back, "Second sister, what kind of talk is that!"

I knew I was at a disadvantage.

So I suddenly lifted my head from Mother's arms, tears streaming down my face as I addressed the room.

"Second sister told me to go change into the new dress. Then Young Master Vance barged in, saying he'd force me to marry him. When I refused, he tried to... to..." I choked. "I'd rather die!"

I lunged toward a pillar.

I made sure to stumble, giving Lily time to stop me.

She did well.

She cried even louder than I did. "Miss, you can't die!"

Seeing this, my father straightened his back and assumed the authority of a chief minister.

"Lord Vance, you've failed to teach your son. He assaulted my daughter in broad daylight, and now you're trying to turn the tables. I'll seek justice, even if I have to take this to the emperor!"

Good!

I silently cheered for my father.

With the moral high ground secured, Lord Vance Sr. suddenly turned to me.

"Blanche, tell me the truth. Did Vance... did he actually consummate with you?"

I froze.

The truth was, he hadn't.

But this was ancient times, not a modern court where self-defense was legal. If I said no, I'd be blamed for harming Vance.

If I said yes, that wouldn't work either.

Lord Vance Sr. fixed me with his hawk-like gaze. "I can have a female physician examine the third miss!"

11

The table was slammed hard, rattling the teacups.

"Lord Vance, hasn't my daughter suffered enough today?" My father's steady, powerful voice rang out.

Mother signaled us to leave.

I could guess how they'd resolve this—choosing the option that minimized harm for both sides.

So when my parents told me that night that they'd agreed to my marriage to Vance, I wasn't surprised.

They reasoned that the news had been contained as much as possible. Only marriage could quell the rumors. Otherwise, my reputation would be ruined for life.

I wanted to ask why it was my reputation that would be ruined when Vance was the one at fault.

But I swallowed the words.

This era was harsh on women and lenient on men.

Still, they'd done their best to protect me. I didn't blame them.

"I will obey my parents' wishes."

I knelt and kowtowed. "But I beg you to grant me three requests."

"First, my dowry must not be less than my sisters'."

"Second, after today, Vance will surely hold a grudge. I ask you to protect me by sending capable guards to accompany me to the Vance mansion. I also wish to visit often to see you."

"Third, when the incident occurred, Lily was suddenly called away by Second Sister's maid. The servants near my boudoir were also reassigned by Second Brother-in-law. Father, you are wise. A simple investigation will reveal the truth."

Mother was horrified. "Your second sister..."

12

Three months later, Vance and I were married.

Vance hated me to the bone and never entered my room.

I slept alone, peacefully.

My father had made his stance clear, so the Vance family, despite their disgust, dared not show it openly.

Vance's injury was kept quiet, but rumors still spread through the capital that he was impotent.

Vance was so furious he couldn't eat for days.

I went to Lord Vance Sr. "Father, family scandals shouldn't be aired. I have a plan."

"I'll pretend to be pregnant. Later, we'll adopt Second Sister's child and claim it as mine. That will disprove the rumors. The child is still of Vance blood, raised in the same household."

Lord Vance Sr. agreed.

Ophelia was livid. When she confronted me, I blocked her slap.

"Everything I've endured is thanks to you, Second Sister. You reap what you sow. If you cross me again, I won't go easy on you."

I wasn't afraid of household battles.

I was the one who spread the rumors.

Vance never shared my bed. The incident had left him traumatized.

Several times, he pinned me down and bit me, and I clawed bloody scratches on his neck.

I called him a madman, and he called me one too.

A year later, Victor led an army against Xiliang and died in battle. I returned the child to Ophelia.

Three years later, Lord Vance Sr. died of illness.

Vance took over the household, but he was incompetent. I offered to help.

I learned to read account books and manage servants with a mix of authority and kindness. Eventually, Vance handed all household affairs to me.

Ophelia tried to take control, but she lacked the skill, and Vance didn't want to lose power. She never succeeded.

Gradually, Vance and I fought less. He grew used to relying on me.

Four years later, I was the true mistress of the Vance household. Even Ophelia had to treat me with respect.

Five years later, our dynasty and Xiliang signed a truce. The people welcomed long-awaited peace.

I used my dowry to open a tea shop called "One Sip," on the main street of the capital. Business was good.

Six years later, I traveled south frequently to find quality tea sources, enduring harsh weather and months on the road.

Eight years later, I had thirty-four tea shops across every province.

Ten years later, a drought struck the central plains. I donated one hundred thousand silver taels from my tea shops to relief efforts and converted the shops into shelters with free porridge kitchens. I became a legend in the capital.

Emperor Xuanzong heard of my deeds and granted me the title "First-Rank Lady of Honor."

I could now enter the palace and meet His Majesty.

Not as the daughter of a minister or the wife of Lord Vance.

But as Blanche.

I proposed to the emperor that we export tea along the Silk Road—overland to the Western Regions and by sea to foreign lands.

The emperor laughed heartily and pointed at me. "You're a clever woman!"

"Long live the emperor!"

My voice was filled with excitement and joy.

When I left the palace, the sky was bright and cloudless.

Soon, people around the world drank my tea. They might not remember the name of my shop, but they knew the tea came from the Great Tang.

At my father's sixty-eighth birthday banquet, he leaned on his dragon-headed cane and called me over. "Blanche, come sit by your father."

He proudly declared to the guests, "Who says women are inferior to men? My Blanche surpasses all the sons in the world!"

The guests nodded in agreement, and I knew they weren't just humoring him.

Amid the clinking of cups, I glanced at the dull man beside me, Vance. Eighteen years had passed.

The tea at the banquet came from my shops.

It was crisp on the tongue and left a lingering aftertaste.

Blanche, see how much you could have done in eighteen years?

Why did you waste your precious time on a man who wasn't worth it?

The man I married wasn't great either.

But I didn't become his accessory. He couldn't stop me from shining. I lived boldly and passionately.

Who needed to dig for wild vegetables?

13

In the blink of an eye, I was thirty-six.

I'd taken good care of myself, and my business was thriving. My skin was still smooth, and I moved with grace.

Though I wasn't as youthful as before, I didn't resent the passage of time.

Everett, now the King of Xiliang, traveled thousands of miles to the capital to discuss trade between our dynasty and Xiliang.

He didn't rush back. He said the Great Tang was his homeland and wanted to stay a few more days.

During his stay, Captain Liu recognized a token he carried. Everett was the long-lost prince of Emperor Xuanzong.

Soon, Everett reclaimed his heritage. After Emperor Xuanzong's death, he ascended the throne, leaving the affairs of Xiliang to Prince Lucian.

The coronation and the queen's enthronement were held simultaneously.

Holding Everett's hand was Princess Zara of Xiliang. Their son and daughter were named crown prince and princess.

I knelt far below the nine-foot platform in my first-rank lady's attire, my heart calm.

When the sixteen-carriage jade palanquin departed, the ministers and their wives rose. I wanted to rub my sore knees, but the man on the palanquin turned back.

I looked straight ahead, as if I hadn't seen him.

On the last day of the Autumn Moon Osmanthus Festival, Queen Zara's birthday was celebrated grandly. All noblewomen were required to attend.

The queen wore a crimson gown, as resplendent as the peonies in her hair.

The crown prince and princess played around her. Zara watched them with a happy smile, occasionally raising her glass to the emperor, her eyes full of love.

After several rounds of wine, I excused myself, claiming I couldn't hold my liquor. A eunuch stopped me.

"Lady Vance, His Majesty summons you. He awaits you in the Jade Flower Palace."

The Jade Flower Palace was a side hall, far from the festivities, usually deserted.

I leaned on Lily's arm as we walked. As soon as I crossed the threshold, the eunuch stopped Lily and closed the doors.

Arms wrapped around me from behind.

14

"Blanche," a muffled voice came from behind. "I've missed you so much."

I took a deep breath and pried his hands off.

I stepped back and knelt in a cold, formal tone. "Your servant pays homage to His Majesty."

"When His Majesty summons a noblewoman, it should be by imperial decree, in the main hall, with attendants present. That is palace protocol."

"Blanche!" He reached out to help me up.

I sidestepped. "Your Majesty should address me as Lady Vance."

Everett looked much older, with deep weariness on his face. The moonlight gilded his yellow dragon robe, making his face seem even more haggard.

"Blanche, you're as beautiful as ever."

He gazed at me for a long time, his voice hoarse.

I was speechless but replied calmly, "Her Majesty the Queen is stunning. Your servant dares not compare."

"No!" He swallowed. "Marrying her was a strategic move. For eighteen years, I've thought of you every moment."

"Why didn't you wait for me?"

I blinked, thinking I'd misheard.

He repeated seriously, "I left you a letter before joining the army. I fought and earned merit so I could return in glory and marry you."

"I never received your letter."

He frowned, muttering to himself, "It didn't reach you? Or was it intercepted by your father's men?"

I tried to keep my tone even. "Your Majesty says you've thought of me for eighteen years. Then why did you marry someone else? And having married another, what right do you have to question why I didn't wait?"

Accustomed to being obeyed, he was taken aback by my retort.

"Then let the past be past. Can we start over?"

He stepped forward to embrace me but grasped only air.

I stepped back. "I am now Lady Vance. Is Your Majesty planning to take another man's wife?"

He smiled, whether in relief or schadenfreude. "I've had you investigated. Vance is impotent. It doesn't matter that you married him. I'll have you divorced."

Half his face was hidden in the shadow of the candlelight, his brows already carrying the aura of an emperor.

"And then?" I asked.

"Our dynasty has precedents like Empress Wu and Consort Yang. You can enter the palace after a period of penance."

"One changed the dynasty's name, the other nearly brought it to ruin. While I admire both women, is Your Majesty willing to gamble the empire?"

I paused, my eyes filled with mockery. "Your Majesty, you are truly... delusional."

Everett's face darkened.

He seemed bewildered.

Yes, a woman who once loved him to the point of death—how could she now be so cold and unyielding?

The air grew heavy.

The night was cold, and crickets chirped outside.

After a long silence, he spoke softly. "The queen and I..."

Two light knocks on the door. A eunuch's cautious voice came through.

"Your Majesty, it's time to return to the banquet. Her Majesty the Queen is looking for you."

He seemed annoyed but said to me, "I understand. You hate that I married someone else."

"No, Your Majesty doesn't understand."

"Whom Your Majesty marries has nothing to do with me."

Anyone else speaking to him like this would be punished.

I was the one being ungrateful.

Defeated, he was urged again by the eunuch and left with a flick of his sleeve.

Before leaving, he ordered, "Lady Vance is drunk. Let her rest in the palace."

15

I was confined to the Jade Flower Palace. Servants brought necessities and left quickly, not daring to look up.

It was house arrest.

Everett came every day to talk endlessly, asking what I wanted, promising me anything.

He thought he could move me.

I had no reaction. I sat by the window, chin in hand, watching the outside.

I thought about next year's tea harvest and whether I could switch to double-entry bookkeeping.

Lily should have left the palace as I'd instructed.

Lost in thought, I didn't hear him speak or notice when he left.

Soon, the queen arrived.

She didn't let me rise. She studied me for a long time before sneering, "His Majesty has been distracted lately. I thought some vixen had caught his eye. But it's just Lady Vance."

Her Mandarin was accented. I looked at the bejeweled woman, no longer slender, showing no trace of the warrior she once was.

"If you were in Xiliang, I'd run you through with my spear."

Most women react this way when their husband's affections wander.

But I was still annoyed. "But this is the Great Tang. I am a first-rank lady appointed by the late emperor. Even Your Majesty cannot casually accuse me."

"You!"

I cut to the chase. "Your Majesty has surely investigated. But gossip rarely matches the truth. Please calm your anger and let me tell you the story."

She couldn't act like a common shrew. She had to maintain the dignity of a queen.

Besides, she wasn't unreasonable. She was just overwhelmed by emotion.

After dismissing the servants, she sat in the main seat. "Lady Vance, rise and speak."

16

As expected, Ophelia had entered the palace a few days earlier.

I rarely went home, and she'd noticed. She seized the chance to badmouth me to the queen.

I'd fed and clothed her for years, but she never appreciated it. A wolf that couldn't be tamed.

Vance had become apathetic. Though we had no love, we had a marriage. He knew what might happen to me in the palace but didn't dare speak up.

I had to rely on myself.

Endless gifts flowed into the Jade Flower Palace—pearls, jade, antiques, silk, cosmetics. Everett was trying to win me over, or beg me.

After Lily left the palace that night, my tea business was suspended.

The Great Tang and Xiliang had signed a trade agreement: tea for warhorses. Xiliang's horses were ready, but the tea hadn't been delivered.

The horses were costly to keep at the border. Xiliang was pressing hard.

The current King of Xiliang, Lucian, was Zara's cousin. Everett asked Zara to write to Lucian for an extension, but she refused, saying, "Didn't you say the harem shouldn't interfere in politics?"

Everett was at his wit's end.

Did he think I was a lamb to be caged and tamed?

A