A Mother's Revenge

After my son ended his life by swallowing gold, he passed away the day after discovering his fiancée in an illicit affair with his father. I had always believed my life would continue as it had for the past twenty-eight years—smooth and uneventful. Little did I know that fate's storm would strike with such ferocity, knocking me to the ground and nearly suffocating me.

1

My Ray—from that tiny little person who babbled "Mama" to me, he grew into a graceful young man. But now, he lies quietly in my arms. No matter how heart-wrenchingly I call to him, he just rests peacefully, just as he did when he was little and I would sing him to sleep. It was then I understood what the books meant by "piercing pain"—this feeling of every bone in my body being shattered, sharp fragments piercing through flesh, tearing at me bit by bit. It hurts so much!

Lucas knelt beside me, wrapping his arms around both me and Ray, sobbing incessantly, muttering apologies.

Ha! Apologize?! I pushed Lucas away. "Don't touch my son!"

I felt myself teetering on the edge of madness. Otherwise, the woman who once prided herself on elegance would not now want to tear his flesh and drink his blood. "Get away! I don't need your apologies! I just want my Ray, do you understand?! I want my Ray!"

My hair disheveled, I knelt on the ground, hitting and cursing Lucas, crying out over and over, "I want my Ray, I only want my Ray..."

Eventually, I drove Lucas away. I couldn't bear to have my son face the man he called Father, the man who had betrayed him with his fiancée. And I feared I might lose control and kill Lucas with my own hands.

After being driven out, Lucas didn't leave, nor did he dare come close. He sat numbly outside the door while I sang lullabies to my Ray all night. Gradually, I too grew still.

2

The next morning, I opened the door. Lucas, my mother-in-law, my parents, my brother, and my sister all looked over when they heard the sound. Seeing that I hadn't done anything drastic, they breathed a sigh of relief. But everyone's eyes were red, especially Lucas—the back of his robe was torn to shreds and stained with blood. It seemed my mother-in-law had administered the family punishment the night before.

My mother-in-law, seeing me emerge, hesitated for a long time before simply calling out, "Claire," and her eyes reddened again.

"Mother, I'd like to hold Ray's funeral at the Marquis of Everjoy estate. Afterwards, I'll send a divorce agreement. Please have Lucas stamp his seal and file it with the authorities." I curtsied to my mother-in-law.

She had truly loved Ray and had always treated me kindly. His death had hit her hard too—in just one night, gray streaks had appeared at her temples. This was likely the last respect I could pay to the grandmother my Ray had adored.

Then I turned to my own family. They could only say, with reddened eyes, "Claire, you still have us. We're here with you..."

Yes, I couldn't fall apart. I needed to give my son a dignified funeral, to let him say goodbye to this world properly. I still had my mother, my father, my brother, my sister... I couldn't make them grieve any more.

And of course, there was my proper, restrained husband. And the innocent, carefree fiancée whose name alone would make my son's cheeks flush...

3

Ray's funeral went smoothly—we held it in a small prayer hall, with hardly any guests.

Poor Ray. In life, he had loved crowds and excitement so much.

After the funeral was completely finished, I chanted Buddhist scriptures for him for another half year.

On New Year's Eve, I put on my finest robes and boarded the palanquin headed for the palace banquet.

When I was young, after the previous emperor passed away, the Dowager Empress was so grief-stricken that she kept me by her side for a time, seeking comfort. So she and I shared a deep bond. When Ray's accident happened, she had sent her attendants to comfort me repeatedly, but my heart was too heavy then, and I turned away all her kindness.

Yesterday, she sent word again, saying her health was failing and she needed to see me before she could rest easy.

Well, it was fine. I had been planning to visit her soon anyway.

As soon as I entered the palace gates, I saw Madam Chen waiting for me at the entrance. She was one of the Dowager Empress's oldest attendants.

Back when I first entered the palace to accompany the Empress, I was in a strange environment. Before I arrived, my parents had warned me endlessly about how strict the palace was and how terrifying the nobles could be, afraid I'd cause trouble and anger the Empress.

So during the day, I acted obedient and clever, telling jokes to amuse the Empress. But at night, I often hid under the covers, crying from fear.

Madam Chen somehow found out about this. She started claiming her bedding was too cold and asked to sleep with me. In her warm arms, which smelled of soap, I gradually adapted to palace life.

Later, I discovered the Dowager Empress was kind and nothing like the terrifying figure everyone made her out to be. I promptly forgot all my parents' warnings and spent my days playing in the palace. Luckily, the Empress seemed to enjoy my antics, which only made me bolder.

Eventually, His Majesty began playing with me too.

At first, after he ascended the throne, mountains of memorials and the regent ministers—who appeared benevolent but harbored their own agendas—weighed heavily on him. But as the ruler of the nation, he had to bear his responsibilities. Afraid he couldn't control the ministers, he kept a stern face to project authority.

But he was just a child like me, three years younger, so how could he resist the urge to play?

Gradually, we played together. In front of the ministers, he remained the solemn Emperor, but after court, we were like ordinary children—fighting crickets, flying kites, stealing bird eggs... we did it all.

The Dowager Empress simply said His Majesty worked hard and had no siblings or playmates, so she let him be.

When I turned thirteen, it was time to discuss marriage, so I was brought home.

But finding a match proved difficult—not because of my family background or appearance.

On the contrary, as the eldest daughter of the Marquis of Everjoy, I took after my mother, who was once renowned for her beauty in the capital. Having gained the Dowager Empress's favor and lived by her side for three years, I was more than qualified to marry the finest young men in the capital.

But whenever we found a suitable match in terms of family, my mother would say the man was too rough for me.

Or if we found someone handsome, the Dowager Empress would deem his family too lowly—after all, she had raised me like a daughter.

Or when we finally found the heir of the Marquis of Eternal Peace, matching in both appearance and status, His Majesty would announce that border tensions required the heir's expertise with the barbarians, and he had to be sent to the front lines...

After that, the Dowager Empress wanted to take her time finding the right match, but she also worried that prolonged negotiations would invite gossip. So she periodically summoned me to stay at the palace, making it clear I was still her favored ward.

But when I returned to the palace, His Majesty no longer followed me around calling "Sister." Instead, he sat properly beside me, listening as I chatted with the Empress. Occasionally, he'd laugh along when we spoke of happy things.

I thought he had simply grown up and no longer wanted to play with me, that he was only staying out of politeness and would soon make an excuse to leave.

But he stayed through all our idle chatter, only returning to his chambers after dinner.

This happened every time I visited. I concluded that he enjoyed hearing stories from outside the palace—that he was still the playful, laughing youth, but his position prevented him from running after me as he used to. That would undermine his imperial dignity.

Once I understood, I felt an inexplicable pride, like "my little girl is finally growing up."

After that, whenever I saw His Majesty in the Dowager Empress's palace, I couldn't resist teasing him. But I didn't want to ruin his carefully cultivated stern image, so I just smiled knowingly at him.

When he saw me like that, his gaze would waver, refusing to meet my eyes. Finally, at a loss, he'd clear his throat, sit down beside me, and whisper with a mix of helplessness and mild reproach, "Sister~"

Seeing his ears turn red, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

And every time, the Dowager Empress would appear at just the right moment.

4

"Greetings, Miss." Madam Chen spotted my carriage from afar and hurried over, curtsying.

Since I had divorced Lucas six months ago, calling me "Miss" was appropriate.

But with so many nobles coming and going at the palace gates, and Madam Chen representing the Dowager Empress, I couldn't let her bow to me.

Without thinking, I lifted my skirts, stepped down from the carriage, and quickly helped her up. "You flatter me. I should be the one paying respects to you first. Having you come to receive me is my fault entirely."

"Nonsense about flattery. Her Majesty sent me to receive you—it's my duty." As she spoke, she discreetly looked me over from head to toe, her gaze finally settling on my hands clasping hers. Her eyes reddened again. "Miss, you've grown thin."

Her concern brought tears to my eyes too. Afraid of being mocked at the palace gates, we both took deep breaths and carefully changed the subject, managing to hold back our tears.

Soon, my mother and sister emerged from the carriage as well. Madam Chen greeted them and explained the situation.

Since my mother held a noble title, she couldn't openly visit the Dowager Empress without causing resentment among other titled ladies. So it was decided that I would go first to apologize for my long absence from paying respects, and Madam Chen led me away.

Along the way, Madam Chen filled me in on the Dowager Empress's health and the changes in the palace. Soon, we arrived at the Palace of Eternal Longevity.

The moment the Dowager Empress saw me, her eyes reddened just like Madam Chen's. She took my hands and said, "Thin, so thin..." Then she gently touched my face, unable to hold back her tears. We held each other and cried for a while.

Perhaps it was because I had held back for half a year and finally let it all out, or maybe seeing the Dowager Empress again lifted my spirits somewhat. But our makeup was ruined, and she had to send me to a side hall to freshen up.

5

The moment I opened the door, His Majesty turned around. He had apparently been waiting for me outside.

Before me stood my childhood playmate, the boy who used to run after me. But now he was the ruler of the realm, exuding imperial authority.

Though still refined and dignified, the divide between sovereign and subject was clear. I bowed properly and paid my respects.

He quickly told me to rise, studying me carefully. Feeling it improper to stare, he averted his gaze, opened his mouth, and finally said, "Sister, how have you been?"

"I am well, Your Majesty. Thank you for your concern." I kept my head lowered.

He seemed taken aback by my formal response. Unease flickered across his face, and the hand at his side clenched into a fist. "The Dowager Empress is still fixing her hair. It will be a moment."

Seeing me still waiting with lowered head, he grew flustered. He stepped closer, as if searching for something to say. "I just came from her chambers. I'm not lying..."

I couldn't help but smile. He was still so childlike. But I answered properly, "Of course I believe you, Your Majesty."

"Then why are you speaking to me so distantly?" he murmured, his voice growing softer, his head drooping. He looked like a wounded child who couldn't voice his hurt.

"Are you still angry with me?" When he saw my calm expression, he resorted to his usual tactic—the pitiful look, gazing at me with those sad eyes.

I remained silent. He seemed truly panicked now, walking directly to me and tugging at my sleeve.

"I... I didn't refuse to punish Lucas because I didn't want to. He's a high minister, and the court is a tangled web. One move affects everything."

"Please believe me, Sister. I'm on your side. But given the circumstances, we must proceed slowly."

"I promise you, I will punish him severely in the future. I'll avenge you and Ray."

"Sister, please don't hate me. I really have no choice..."

"Sister..."

By the end, he had even forgotten to use his royal title.

Ah, though His Majesty was Emperor and had taken an Empress, rumors said they weren't close—they barely spoke, and there were still no children. Aside from court affairs, he hadn't faced any major storms. No matter how stern his exterior, inside he was still a boy at heart.

He saw me as an older sister, and my silence naturally frightened him.

Well, I couldn't expect everyone in the world to suffer in bitterness with me, could I?

Besides, knowing when to stop was the key to getting what I wanted, wasn't it?

6

I kept my head down, staring fixedly at the tips of my shoes until tears began to form.

I looked up. "No, I understand Your Majesty's difficulties. Please don't act rashly."

I lowered my head again and dabbed at the corner of my eye with my handkerchief. "Right now, I only wish for Your Majesty and the Dowager Empress's health and well-being. I ask for nothing more."

Seeing me like this, His Majesty's eyes reddened too. "Sister, I know you're suffering. I can't avenge you and Ray right now. If it would make you feel better, you can hit me or scold me."

He paused, seeming to struggle with himself, then finally took my wrist. "I promise you, I will help you take revenge. But please, take care of yourself. Don't let yourself grieve anymore, alright?"

"Mm." My tears broke free, streaming down uncontrollably.

His Majesty gently pulled me closer and softly brushed his hand over my head, guiding me to lean against his shoulder.

Eunuch Liu, standing nearby, showed no surprise. He simply turned to admire the flowers in the courtyard, pretending to see nothing.

Perhaps it's the same for everyone—the more someone cares about you, the weaker the walls around your heart become. A gentle word of concern can unleash all the委屈 and resentment you've buried for so long.

I started with quiet sobs, but somehow it turned into wailing, until I could barely breathe. His Majesty understood my pain and said nothing, letting me vent.

Only when Madam Chen came to fetch me did he hand me a white handkerchief. After I wiped my tears and stopped hiccupping, he walked slowly with me to see the Dowager Empress.

7

When we reached the main hall, the Dowager Empress was already dressed and ready. Seeing my eyes redder than before, she scolded His Majesty playfully, "You made Claire cry again. Just wait until I deal with you!"

His Majesty joked and begged for mercy, even asking me to plead on his behalf, lightening the heavy atmosphere.

Just then, Madam Chen announced that the banquet was about to begin and requested Their Majesties to take their seats.

His Majesty and I were about to escort the Dowager Empress to her palanquin when a palace maid announced that Her Majesty the Empress had arrived, presumably to accompany the Dowager Empress to the banquet as well.

I spotted the Empress in the distance. I paused, preparing to curtsy, but the Dowager Empress held me firmly and said calmly, "Just keep holding onto me."

The Empress acted as if she hadn't noticed, smiling as she paid her respects to the Dowager Empress and His Majesty.

But when she rose, her gaze lingered briefly on His Majesty's damp shoulder—darkened by my tears—before she quickly recovered her smile, so fast I wondered if I'd imagined it.

Then she turned to me, warmly taking my hand. "I haven't seen Sister in so long. Mother has been talking about you constantly. No wonder she specially ordered the imperial kitchen to add several of your favorite dishes to tonight's banquet. I'm so jealous!"

"I am deeply honored by Your Majesty and Her Majesty's kindness. Her Majesty's affection allows me the privilege of experiencing the imperial kitchen's culinary skills." I answered formally, not responding to her warmth.

The Empress seemed about to continue, but His Majesty raised his voice slightly, cutting her off with impatience. "Enough. The banquet is about to start. Don't delay the auspicious hour."

The Empress looked surprised, as if she hadn't expected him to embarrass her publicly. For a moment, she seemed unable to understand whether it was because of me or something else that had displeased him.

Without waiting for her reaction, His Majesty gave me a look, signaling me to help him escort the Dowager Empress to her palanquin. The Dowager Empress, doting on me, insisted I ride with her. I tried to decline but eventually gave in.

His Majesty said nothing more, turned, and climbed into his own palanquin, ordering the attendants to hurry to the banquet, leaving the stunned Empress standing there.

8

When we arrived at the banquet hall, everyone rose to pay their respects. Several ladies from first-rank families discreetly glanced at me standing to the Dowager Empress's left, their faces tinged with sympathy.

I only had to turn slightly to see Willow Wu sitting prominently at the front of the banquet.

9

The Dowager Empress and His Majesty followed my gaze and spotted Willow too. They showed brief surprise but quickly recovered.

Since the banquet was about to begin, His Majesty excused himself and hurried to the men's section.

I escorted the Dowager Empress to her seat. Perhaps sensing my trembling hand, she glanced sideways in Willow's direction, then gently patted my hand in reassurance before allowing me to withdraw.

I walked to where my mother and sister were seated.

Out of decorum, they remained silent, their faces pale, sitting diagonally across from Willow.

When my mother saw me approach, her expression softened slightly. She tried to act casual, pushing a teacup toward me. "Have some tea to moisten your throat. I told you not to come to the palace—you're just asking for trouble."

She was as bitter as I was, and despite her efforts to control herself, her movements were stiff.

My sister had been holding back since the banquet began. Now she couldn't contain herself anymore. She slammed her teacup onto the table and hissed through clenched teeth, so only we could hear, "How dare she show her face at the palace banquet? Shameless little harlot!"

My mother and sister usually avoided mentioning Lucas or Willow in front of me, afraid of upsetting me. They tried to distract me with other things, hoping I'd slowly forget my pain.

They had been so careful, and it had almost worked. But one banquet had undone six months of effort. They were furious.

My mother didn't even pretend to scold my sister for her rudeness. She just sipped her tea silently.

Willow flinched at the sound of the teacup, lowering her head further, pressing closer to the Duchess of State Protection, nearly burying her face in the Duchess's lap.

Ha. Who would have thought she could sit so quietly now, like any other noble lady beside her mother?

That once-vivacious second daughter of the Duke, who had stirred up all the young men's hearts when she first arrived in the capital with her parents. She had none of the capital's reservedness—a red dress, a riding whip, laughing freely when happy, showing her displeasure openly.

She made the capital's young people glimpse a life without aristocratic constraints, a carefree border existence they envied. They all flocked around her.

And my Ray, that was when he blushed and told me he had found someone he loved.

He said she was lively and unrestrained, that she would ride and shoot with him, that she wouldn't cry when injured, just wipe away the blood and continue...

My Ray said he had never met anyone like her. Her laughter opened a new world to him, like a cheerful songbird flying into his ordinary life. He said he could never escape.

During that time, he gave away his beloved horse—which he'd practically lived with—to his friend, traded for rare calligraphy copies to please me, and waited on me hand and foot, all just to get me to propose marriage quickly, afraid someone else would beat him to it.

I thought, since Ray had entered the Hongwen Academy, he had become as proper as his father, a little scholar. Willow opened a completely different world to him. Falling for her was understandable.

I thought young love would come and go quickly. If I delayed, Ray would naturally lose interest.

After all, the Duke of State Protection was a military man, while my family were civil officials—our political views naturally clashed. Moreover, the Duke had once used his seniority to pressure His Majesty into marrying his eldest daughter, angering the Dowager Empress and His Majesty. For these reasons, I wasn't keen on the match.

But Ray was determined this time. Somehow he found out my true feelings.

That day, he knelt before me—the first time he'd cried in front of me since starting school. "Mother, I truly love her. I beg you, son begs you!"

After entering school, Ray had been gentle and obedient, never causing me worry, never asking me for anything. Seeing him in such pain, my heart softened.

I thought, I didn't need my son to be great—just safe and happy. If he married into the Duke's family, the Dowager Empress might scold me, but it wouldn't shake our foundation. And a lively daughter-in-law might bring some vitality to our rather staid household.

So I swallowed my pride and asked the Dowager Empress to be our matchmaker. As expected, she scolded me repeatedly for being foolish and ignored me for days, but in the end, her affection for Ray and me won out, and she agreed, though with a dark face.

Thus the two families were betrothed and began visiting each other.

Who could have known that the lively, unrestrained girl my son loved would also be loved by his father?

10

Lucas later told me that he had lived a proper, restrained life his whole life.

When he met Willow, who chattered around him like a little bird, asking endless questions, he found himself falling despite himself. He knew it was wrong, suffered daily, but still carried on secretly with her.

Every time he saw his son's smiling face as he told us how he'd accidentally run into Miss Wu, or how Miss Wu had given him a poetry collection... Lucas was in agony too.

He once resolved to end it, to remain the upright gentleman, the good husband and father the world saw.

But then he saw the sachet hanging at Ray's waist—the one Willow had teasingly promised to give him—and regretted his decision. He thought, just wait a little longer, until he had enough resolve, then he'd break it off with Willow and pretend nothing had happened.

But fate had other plans.

Before he could gather that resolve, my son swallowed gold and ended his life.

Sometimes I wonder, do they even have a conscience? How could they face Ray and me every day without guilt?

How could they act so calmly, as if nothing had happened?

To be fair, Lucas wasn't entirely without conscience.

Afterward, he did come to express his remorse.

Ha. Afterward!

After I divorced and returned home, Lucas came to see me. His hair was disheveled, his clothes wrinkled—nothing like the proper gentleman he once was. He handed me a dagger, saying he had no face to ask for forgiveness, that he was offering his life in repayment.

After so many years of marriage, I knew that if I cursed and hit him, his guilt would ease somewhat.

But I didn't feel like giving him that satisfaction.

I slowly sheathed the dagger and said calmly, "No need to repay with your life. Ray was an extension of your life. Besides, he loved and respected you so much—he wouldn't want to see this. If you want, you can copy some Buddhist scriptures for him."

Then I paused, looking at a tree so thick it would take three people to encircle it. "Last night, I dreamed of Ray. He was sitting on the swing we made for him when he was little, complaining that we hadn't burned any scriptures for him."

Sure enough, Lucas's straight back seemed to crumple. In an instant, he looked aged.

I almost laughed. Repay with his life? How could that be?

After Ray left, I learned that death was an escape, not atonement.

I would never let Lucas die so easily.

And Willow—how could I let that innocent, lively girl, after destroying my son's life, go on chirping happily like a beloved little bird?

But revenge wasn't so easy.

Lucas later confessed to His Majesty and prepared to resign from office, but His Majesty refused, only giving him a minor punishment.

Yes, the military power was held by the Duke of State Protection and his faction of generals. Without their cooperation, many imperial decrees couldn't even leave the capital.

Lucas was a minister His Majesty had painstakingly placed in the Ministry of Personnel, cultivated for years until he became its head. How could he be allowed to retire?

My father and brother, as civil officials, had to consider the bigger picture, even with personal grudges. They couldn't let internal conflict create openings for the military faction.

So they had to swallow their anger and maintain a facade of peace.

Thus, besides me, no one was left to avenge my Ray.

My poor Ray!

11

Back to the banquet. The Duchess of State Protection, being a first-rank titled lady, acted as if she hadn't heard the teacup slam. She patted Willow's hand calmly, then turned to chat with the lady beside her, as if nothing had happened.

Others had heard the noise, but since the Dowager Empress hadn't spoken and their ranks were lower than my mother's, they pretended not to notice.

As for Willow, perhaps they thought she was just shy around nobles. After all, she and Ray were only betrothed—the formal ceremonies hadn't been completed. Few knew she was Ray's fiancée, only a few ladies who had dealings with both families.

On that day, several first-rank ministers' wives had witnessed her rendezvous with Lucas.

But they were from noble families and wouldn't stoop to gossip.

Besides, Willow was the Duke's second daughter and the Empress's own sister.

And Lucas was a high minister, entangled in many official interests.

Perhaps there was also sympathy—they didn't want my Ray to become the butt of jokes. Or maybe there were other reasons.

In any case, everyone seemed to have forgotten that day entirely.

But occasionally, during the banquet, their gazes would drift subtly between Willow and me.

After all, half a year ago, my son had "accidentally drowned," I had divorced Lucas in a dramatic split, and then Willow had fallen "gravely ill."

Now Willow had "recovered," and I had emerged from my grief to attend the banquet. What a coincidence, wasn't it?

The Empress arrived late. The Dowager Empress acknowledged her with a noncommittal grunt, excused her from formalities, and continued chatting with the other ladies, ignoring her completely.

I knew it was because the Empress had brought Willow to the palace without prior notice, angering the Dowager Empress.

The Empress was probably helpless. After Ray's death, Lucas's mother had declared that if he so much as thought of marrying Willow, he would have to walk over her dead body.

And Willow had been "gravely ill" for half a year—she couldn't delay marriage negotiations any longer.

So the Empress had to use the banquet to find her a match among second-rank families. Perhaps, given the Duke and Empress's influence, even first-rank families might be possible.

But I thought no first-rank family was good enough for Willow.

Without experiencing the pain yourself, how could you truly understand someone else's suffering?

Throughout the banquet, my gaze kept drifting to Willow.

Even the Duchess must have felt uncomfortable under my stare.

Perhaps she feared I might lose control and make a scene.

But I just sat there calmly.

12

Near the end of the banquet, as was customary, the Dowager Empress and Empress withdrew first, allowing the ladies to dine and chat more freely.

After all, the purpose of the banquet was harmony between ruler and subjects. With Their Majesties present, the ladies naturally couldn't relax.

Once they left, the ladies became more animated, moving about to greet each other.

The wife of General Ding'an walked straight up to me, feigning annoyance. "You naughty girl! I finally came back, went to your house, but couldn't find you. And you didn't even come to see me. Have you really forgotten me?"

General Ding'an's wife was my childhood friend. We had grown up together. Like her father, the Censor-in-Chief, she was fiercely righteous, sharp-tongued, and handy with a whip. Anyone who angered her would be lucky to escape with their skin intact.

But later, she defied her family, ran off to the southwest, and married General Ding'an. She settled there, and aside from returning to the capital for annual reports, we rarely saw each other.

As our lives took different paths, we gradually drifted apart.

The people of the capital had forgotten there was once a girl named Lena, and that she and I had been such close friends.

Though our contact had lessened, we still exchanged letters occasionally. But when Ray's accident happened, the southwest was in turmoil, so I didn't write to burden her.

She still thought Ray had simply drowned.

Seeing Lena staring at me intently, I knew she was truly upset. I softened my voice to soothe her. "My dear sister, I was wrong. But that day, I happened to be at the temple chanting scriptures."

When she heard this, she deflated, probably afraid she had accidentally touched a sore spot. She looked at a loss.

That's friendship, isn't it? No matter how long you've been apart, one word of concern bridges the gap.

But my foolish sister—I didn't deserve her kindness.

She was worried about hurting me, not knowing that I hadn't been at the temple at all. I had been waiting for this banquet, for her to ask me publicly.

I was no longer the gentle, proper eldest daughter of the Marquis of Everjoy. I had become the scheming woman we used to despise as children. I hardened my heart. "Forgive me, Sister Lena. I'll confess everything to you someday. Please pardon me."

I took her hand, and she let me lead her slowly out of the banquet hall.

"I'm fine now, just occasionally still troubled. Take me somewhere quiet and talk with me," I said, glancing back at Willow. Our eyes met, and she quickly looked down.

Willow had probably just learned today that I was close to General Ding'an's wife.

Was she afraid? Shocked? Angry?

I didn't know. But I was certain she wouldn't let Lena and me talk alone.

After all, my brother had told me the Wu family was planning to form a marriage alliance with General Ding'an to strengthen their military power.

If they lost the catch of the General's eldest son, even Willow, the Duke's late-life daughter, might not be as favored as before.

Otherwise, why would the Empress risk angering the Dowager Empress and His Majesty by bringing Willow to the banquet without permission?

Sure enough, I heard footsteps behind us.

13

I led Lena to a viewing pavilion hidden among lush trees.

It was a place His Majesty and I had discovered as children. From there, you could see the entire imperial garden clearly, but the dense foliage made it nearly invisible to others.

We used to hide here, giggling as we watched Eunuch Chen search for us frantically in the garden below. It was endless fun.

Now it was amusing too, especially watching Willow wander through the garden, looking around anxiously, trying to find us, frustrated but helpless. It was rather satisfying.

14

"You dragged me up here just to watch that?" Lena looked displeased, pointing at Willow still searching below.

"Of course not." I took her hand and sat on a stone stool in the pavilion.

"My brother told me the Duke of State Protection is planning to form a marriage alliance with your family."

"What?! You mean my mother-in-law is considering the Wu family for Qi'er?" Lena was shocked, her voice rising several octaves.

She paced angrily. "Is the Duke determined to ruin us sisters? First he took Ray, and now he won't even spare my Qi'er?"

I quickly covered her mouth, telling her to lower her voice. "It's not 'took.' She and Lucas directly killed Ray!"

Then I told her the whole story.

Lena was stunned. It took her a moment to react before she grabbed her whip, ready to charge downstairs.

"So that's why you divorced Lucas so decisively over Ray's 'drowning'! We were too narrow-minded! Flaying that adulterous pair alive wouldn't quench my rage!"

Afraid she would actually rush down, I held her back. "Lena, calm down. I'm telling you this so you won't act rashly. The most important thing now is to prevent the Wu family from using your ignorance of capital affairs to harm Qi'er. You need to go home and talk to your mother-in-law immediately."

After much persuasion, Lena finally calmed down and hurried back to the banquet, afraid her mother-in-law might impulsively finalize the engagement publicly.

After sending her off, I stayed on the pavilion, watching the starry sky, feeling the cool breeze, and calmly observing Willow wandering aimlessly through the garden. It was truly refreshing.

But all good things must end.

Footsteps approached behind me. Familiar incense wafted toward me on the breeze, making me nauseous.

"I saw Madam Qian earlier and guessed you'd be here, so I came up." Lucas stopped on the other side of the stone table.

I thought, why bother coming up? To test my willpower?

But I couldn't act impulsively. Lucas's appearance was an unexpected bonus, wasn't it? At least it saved me some trouble.

I took a deep breath. "What do you want?"

"I've copied some scriptures. I'll have my servant deliver them to you another day." Lucas looked awkward, tugging at his sleeve, speaking cautiously.

How absurd. His own son was buried in his maternal family's cemetery, and he couldn't even visit. He had to send the scriptures through me.

"Mm." I had overestimated my tolerance. Looking at his face, I might really lose control and want to flay him alive. I turned away, looking down at the garden below.

I told myself to stay calm, not to disrupt my plan for revenge, not to let Ray become a laughingstock.

After so many years of marriage, Lucas probably sensed my restraint and prepared to leave.

But then he caught a glimpse of Willow still wandering below. He stiffly turned back to me, struggling for a long time before asking, "What... are you planning?"

Planning? What a question.

Was he afraid I'd flay Willow alive? Or drink her blood?

Every time you met Willow in secret, did you ever think about what Ray would do? What I would do?

Seeing my increasingly twisted expression, Lucas seemed frightened. He hesitated, then forced himself to say, "I know you hate me. It's all my fault. You can kill me if you want, I won't complain. But... Willow... is innocent. She's still young, and marriage arrangements are up to her parents. She..."

"Is! That! So!" Now I understood why even the harshest laws couldn't stop murder. The urge to kill in front of some people was truly irresistible.

When the engagement was announced, wasn't it Willow herself who said, "I leave it to Mother's decision," in front of both families?

Wasn't she the one who lowered her head and blushed?

Did my son steal or snatch the sachet he wore every day from the Wu mansion?

Seeing me breathing heavily, Lucas hesitated, not daring to approach. After a moment of indecision, he turned to leave, probably to take Willow away.

"Stop! Lucas, this is the imperial garden. What, do you want your affair to be known to everyone? Or do you think Ray is lonely underground and want to anger me to death so I can join him?"

I stopped him sharply. "What, your Willow is young and innocent, and I'm the venomous, scheming woman?"

Lucas had probably never seen me this angry. He froze, looking at me helplessly.

Just now, I had thought my tears had dried up after six months of crying. I wondered how I would make myself cry again.

But tears are like the sea—they never run out. When your heart truly aches, they flow like a broken dam, unstoppable.

"Lucas! Do you think I forced her here? Or made her wander around? I just came out for some air. When I heard footsteps behind me, I hid here to see who it was. And you come accusing me of wanting to harm your precious darling!"

My voice rose with sobs, my finger trembling as I pointed at him, as if I was furious at being wrongly accused, especially by someone I hated so much.

I must have looked just like Ray did when he was little and we wrongly accused him—stubborn and indignant.

Since the day Ray died, Lucas hadn't seen me so distraught. My outburst made him think he